


Fraser Memorial

by curlsgetdemgurls



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Doctor Claire, F/M, Fluff, Hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-07-04 04:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15833964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlsgetdemgurls/pseuds/curlsgetdemgurls
Summary: Claire is a resident at a hospital in Edinburgh and one night when a red headed scot comes in with a dislocated shoulder, it changes the path of both their lives.





	1. Sutures

**_2015 | Scotland_ **

The emergency room had been quiet all morning, only three people had come in with minor injuries that were fixed in minutes. My fingers ached to suture someone’s skin, fix a broken nose... _anything_ that would take my focus off of my ex.

Frank Randall had cheated on me. Simple as that. 

But it wasn’t simple, he was my fiancé, we’d been together for six years and had plans. Hopes and dreams that involved us buying a house, getting married, children… he ruined them when he slept with one of his students. A history professor at Oxford University, Frank had wooed me in my last year of school. He was a new professor and I was smitten with the teacher. 

I should have known that something like this could have happened.

I was once the student, crushing on their professor, hoping he would ask to see me after class so we could talk those extra five minutes without anyone else around. 

It’d only been three months since I found out he was sleeping with her and in that short time I had relocated to Edinburgh to get away from him and my shattered dreams. Thankfully the hospital accepted my transfer. It was rare that they would take on a resident from another hospital, especially since I was English. 

I glanced down at my watch, only ten minutes had passed since I’d last checked it. Sighing, I ran my hand through my mass of curls, getting my finger stuck in a knot. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” I cursed, yanking my hand and managing to make matters worse. 

“Ye need scissors?” Geillis, a fellow resident, asked from behind the nurses station. 

I huffed, “No, thank you. I’ve almost,” I pulled a bit more, “Got it!” My hand came free and only a few loose strands drifted to the white tiled floor. 

“Ye ever think about cutting it? Yer hair?” Geillis pointed to my bird’s nest. 

Shaking my head, I pulled my hair tie off my wrist and started putting it in a messy bun, “I would look horrific if I cut my hair,” I laughed, tucking loose bits into the bun. “They would stick out even more, if that’s even possible.” 

“Aye, yer probably right.” She laughed and then we both turned our heads to the emergency room doors that were now opening with a bang. _Finally._

A man with a slight limp walked through the doors, holding up a very large red headed man who appeared to be doubled over in pain.

“Mine!” I called before Geillis could and raced off to meet the men, leaving Geillis’ shouts of complaint behind me. 

“How can I help?” I asked, my eyes taking stock of what was before me. The larger man’s face was twisted in pain, and his hand was clutching his opposite shoulder. _Dislocated._ There was also blood, and a lot of it, running down his arm. 

“This idiot here thought he could lift a box of about forty-five bottles of whisky, clumsy dolt.” The blonde man laughed through his words, “Happened walkin’ up the stairs. Smashed all the whisky o’ course.” I chuckled lightly to myself, clearly the man was not too concerned about his friends pain. 

“Come with me, we’ll get you set up in a bed and I’ll take a look at that shoulder.” I led the two men who slowly followed over to the row of beds. The large man laid down, wincing as he fell back against the pillows. 

“You’ll probably want to sit up and not lean on that arm.” I instructed and moved my fingers in a ‘come forward’ motion. 

“Aye, I think it’s broken.” The red haired man said, groaning as he sat up in the bed. 

I laid my hand gently on his shoulder to assess the damage, it was in fact dislocated. This would be an easy fix. “It’s not broken, only dislocated.” 

“Only,” he laughed and I looked into his eyes for the first time to find that they were the brightest blue I’d ever seen. Caught off guard, I shook my head slightly and turned my attention back to his shoulder. 

“I’m going to pop it back into place, it’ll hurt but then feel a whole lot better.” I placed my hands firmly on his arm and he nodded, gritting his teeth and looked straight ahead. 

Applying pressure, I forced his shoulder back and then up and it made a sort of popping noise as it reset. The man grunted but then let out his breath, looking down at his shoulder to see it good as new. 

“Ah Dhia, it feels a thousand times better, thank ye Sassenach.” He smiled up at me and I felt my belly do a little flip. 

“You’re welcome. It really wasn’t very — wait… what did you call me?” I shot my eyebrows up at him. I’m pretty sure that _‘Sassenach’_ was not a very nice name to call someone. 

The man blushed, his ears turning pink as he met my gaze full on, “Och, I didna mean it in a bad way, of course not, yer English are ye no’?”

“Well, yes I am.” I crossed my arms in front of me and waited for further explanation. 

“So…” he drew out the word, “’Tis only a way of calling ye that, yer an outlander, lass. Please dinna take offense because I truly didna mean to offend ye. ’Tis only I dinna ken yer name.”

I looked down at my chest where my name tag should’ve been but it had somehow fallen off during the day. “Oh, I’m Claire. Claire Beauchamp.” I smiled and then I remembered the man’s friend and turned my head to him as well, offering him the same smile. 

“This is Ian, my brother-in-law,” the man pointed to his friend with the limp, “and I’m Jamie. Now that we ken each other’s names maybe ye could attend to this blood that hasna stopped drippin’ out of my arm?” 

I cursed under my breath. _Christ_ , I had completely forgotten that he had been bleeding. His eyes were a distraction and his Scottish lilt was rather enchanting. Of course, I knew that by moving to Scotland, I would in fact hear plenty of Scottish accents but there was something in the Highland-lilt -- something about the way he said ‘Sassenach’. 

“Jesus! I’m sorry,” my cheeks turned red and I moved over to the cabinet beside the bed, quickly pulling out what I would need. Definitely sutures, bandages, antiseptic and tweezers to pull out any remaining glass. 

Once I set up the tray and had it arranged neatly, I rolled the small cart over beside the bed. “Hold out your arm please.” 

Jamie lifted his arm, and I sucked in the air between my teeth, there was a large piece of glass sticking out. I normally had a strong stomach but sometimes, there were things that put me over the edge. 

“Jamie, yer doctor’s afraid of blood. I told ye we shoulda gone to the other hospital,” Ian laughed and put his hand on Jamie’s back. 

“I’m normally fine, blood doesn’t make me ill but seeing that,” I looked down at his arm again, “has made me just a wee bit nauseous.” 

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. If ye throw up, I promise to make sure none of that hair on top of yer head gets in the vomit.” Jamie laughed and I would have hit him on the arm if he wasn’t injured. 

“Thank you,” I said sarcastically and turned to grab the antiseptic and cloth to clean around his wound before I dislodged the glass shard. 

While I cleaned his wound, Jamie didn’t complain, only pressed his lips tightly together and put on a brave face. “This may hurt,” I said in a soft tone as I held my tweezers near the glass. 

“Just do it, lass.” 

The glass came out easily enough, and thankfully it wasn’t very deep into his skin but he would definitely need sutures. I laid the shard on the tray and grabbed another cloth to clean him and this time Jamie let out a little yelp as the antiseptic touched his wound. 

“Can deal with a dislocated shoulder but not a little sting?” I mused, smiling up at him as I continued to clean the remaining blood. 

His arm twitched slightly but he didn’t pull it back, “Och, the stinging is verra painful, Sassenach, dinna make fun of me!” 

“He’s a big baby, Claire, dinna listen to him,” Ian chimed, “He cries in sappy romantic movies too, don’t ye?”

Jamie glared at Ian, but there was a slight mischievous glint in his eye. 

“I dinna cry, I have allergies,” Jamie grumbled, puffing out his chest a little. 

I grabbed the needle and threaded the suture through the small hole and brought it to his skin. “I have allergies too, you know like when I watch ‘Titanic’ and Jack dies, somehow I always get allergies during that scene,” I joked, which earned me a nudge from Jamie’s other hand into my side. 

“Dinna joke about ‘Titanic, Claire, ’tis verra serious, their love was forever.” He laughed and I had to admit to myself that he was very interesting. Jamie was such a large presence, one wouldn’t think at first glance that he was into romantic movies and even cried during them. 

“Seems like ye’ll be awhile,” Ian said, “I’m gonna go and grab a snack out of the vending machine, ye need anything, Fraser?”

_Fraser? Surely not…_

I waited until Ian had walked away before asking Jamie what was currently making me freak out. 

“Fraser? That’s your last name?” He jumped slightly as I poked him with the needle and began to suture his wound. 

“Aye, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, to be exact.” 

“As in… _Fraser Memorial…_ the name of this hospital?” I paused my work on his arm to look up into his face. 

Jamie’s ear’s turned pink again, “Aye, well ’tis no’ like it’s me who owns the hospital. That’d be my Da Brian. One day though… it’ll be mine.” 

He was practically my boss and here I was picturing late nights cuddled up next to him on the couch watching ‘Titanic’ and crying. 

“So it’s named after your dad then? Kind of odd to name a hospital after yourself, aye?” I resumed suturing his wound, nearly done. 

“Och, no. It’s named after my older brother Willie.” He replied, looking down to watch the needle go through the last bit of skin and I clipped the end and tied it off. “He passed away when I was a lad.” I watched as I saw his blue eyes go gray and his smile faded for a moment. “He had cancer.” 

My hand lingered on his arm, offering comfort, “I’m so sorry Jamie. Was he treated at this hospital?”

“Aye,” his voice trembled, as if he was remembering his brother now, “My father partnered with a man and bought the hospital a year after Willie died. Then they renamed it for him, to remember.”

I bandaged his arm in silence, not quite knowing what to say, what could I ever say to that?

“You’re all done.” I tucked in the end of the bandage underneath, “You need to clean the wound daily, and for the first couple of days you’ll need to change out the bandage, some blood seeping through is normal.” I assured him, and looked over to see Ian returning with bags of crisps and candy in his arms. 

“Och, yer finished? I had to go to three different floors to find what I wanted.” He groaned and offered Jamie a bag of crisps. 

“Thank ye, Sassenach. For healing me wi’ yer wee hands so well.” Jamie grabbed my hand and placed his lips on the back of it. I could have sworn he heard my heart beating frantically in my chest. 

“No problem at all, anything for a _Fraser,_ ” I laughed, hoping I didn’t sound like I was trying to suck up to the owner’s son. 

“Will I need to come back to get the sutures taken out?” 

“Oh, yes! Come back in about three weeks and I’ll take them out for you.” I only prayed that when he returned I would be on shift. 

“Aye, three weeks then, Claire.” Jamie smiled and turned to leave with Ian, who was munching on a Snickers bar, going on and on about how stupid Jamie was to lift that heavy of a box. 

My eyes never left the back of his head as I watched them walk away and just before they turned around the corner, Jamie’s eyes met mine and he grinned, setting butterflies loose in my belly. 

 

**_Present day_ **

I checked my reflection in the mirror, applying one more coat of mascara before I decided my make-up would just have to do for the evening. My dress was a simple black, that hugged every curve and line of my body. Just the way my husband liked, or so he _showed me._

“Sassenach!” He called from the living room, “Are ye ready? We dinna want to be late!”

“Such an impatient man,” I fussed, grabbing my coat from the bed and slipping it on over my shoulders. Jamie was waiting for me, his arms crossed, looking down at his watch. 

“I’m ready. I swear it!” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek as he turned his face to press his lips to mine. 

“Don’t!” I pulled back, “You’ll mess up my lipstick and I don’t think you want to wait around for me to fix it.” 

“I’d love to mess up yer lipstick, Sassenach. And that wee dress of yers too,” the color of his eyes turned into a deep blue, “but yer right, we must go.” He sighed, frowning as he settled for a kiss to my forehead and took my hand, leading me to the door. 

“Are you nervous, Jamie?” I squeezed his hand as we walked to the car parked on the street. 

“Aye, a wee bit.” 

“Your speech will be great, I know it.” He stopped us before we climbed into the car, his hands slid down my body to rest on my hips. 

“’Tis a big responsibility, bein’ an owner of a hospital.” He squeezed my sides making me jump, “With my father retiring and all, I ken it has to be me but I just worry I willna be good at it.” 

Not caring about my lipstick or the stain it would leave on his lips, I pressed forward and closed our mouths together. “Jamie Fraser, you’re the bravest man I know. You’re ready for this, your father has trained you well. Besides…” I smirked, my hands sliding down over his arse, “I can’t wait until I can say I sleep with the boss.” 

Jamie laughed and pressed his lips to mine again, “I love ye, Sassenach. Truly, I do.” 

“And I you, Jamie. Now let’s go! It’s bloody freezing out here, and I need those heated seats!” 

He let go of my hips and opened the passenger door for me. The entire drive over, his hand never left mine - I squeezed it off and on, a matter of habit, to remind him I was there. I was always going to be there, I was always going to be his biggest supporter. 

The tension was seeping out of his body. No normal person would have known that, but I knew James Fraser, and I knew just how big of a night this retirement gala at _Fraser Memorial_ was going to be.


	2. Maybe This Time

**_2015_ **

Three weeks. 

That’s when I told Jamie Fraser to come back to get his stitches taken out. According to _my_ calendar that should be any day now. 

After our first meeting, when he came bleeding and groaning into the emergency room, I’d looked up more information about the Fraser family. There was an article written about them when Jamie’s father purchased the hospital. 

_“Brian Fraser of Lallybroch Estate partners with Raymond Michel, purchasing Mercy Memorial in honor of his son, William Fraser. The hospital is to be renamed Fraser Memorial and will have a grand re-opening in one month, following structure and policy changes.” - May 3rd, 2000, Robert McKay_

It was nothing he hadn’t told me before but the date — 2000, surely Jamie was around my age. So that put him around seven or eight years old. 

“Yer boyfriend was here yesterday,” Geillis roused me from yet another daydream of Jamie, and I looked up at her over the patient chart in my hand. 

“Hmm? Boyfriend?” _Who the hell was she talking about?_

“That strappin’ red headed fellow from the other week, I didna catch his name.” She twisted a lock of her own red hair around her finger, “He asked for ye.”

“Jamie? He asked for me?” I set the chart down and moved to locate his file behind the desk. “Did he come to get his stitches out?”

“Och, no. When I told him ye werena working yesterday, he said he’d come back today.” Geillis clicked her tongue which made me look up, my heart pulsating wildly. “Speak o’ the devil.” 

Jamie Fraser could captivate the attention of the entire room from the moment he stepped in one. All the nurses eyes were following his movements as he approached the desk where I now stood.

“Close yer mouth, darlin’, ye’ll catch flies.” Geillis whispered near my ear and I promptly shut my gaping mouth. 

“Sassenach,” Jamie smiled and held out his arm, “I’m back to get my wee stitches out.” 

_Christ, why did he look so damn good._

“Great!” I squeaked out, and turned to Geillis who handed me his chart with a smirk. 

“Follow me this way, Mr. Fraser.” Leading him over to the row of beds, I tried not to trip on anything, he was making my legs rather wobbly. 

Jamie sat down on the side of the bed, his uninjured hand running through his auburn curls, “So it’s Mr. Fraser now, aye?” I smiled sheepishly and put my hand on his arm. 

“Well… you’re Brian’s son. I just — I didn’t —“ 

“To you lass, it’s Jamie. I’m only Jamie when I’m wi’ ye.” His reassuring squeeze on my hip made me heart melt and my fingers shake. I quickly removed my hand from his arm and prepared the tray with scissors and a fresh bandage. 

“I see ye found yer wee name tag,” Jamie crossed his legs at the ankle and started swinging them back and forth like a little child. 

“Oh yes. I forgot to put it on that day, was hidden in my locker.” I avoided his gaze as I peeled back his bandage to reveal a nicely healed wound. “That looks nice enough, won’t take but a moment to get these stitches out.”

“It willna hurt like last time?” His arm was tense when I touched it, so I put my other hand on his knee, and he relaxed instantly. 

“No, it will be virtually painless.” It was easy enough to take stitches out: a snip here, a small pull with some tweezers, and the sutures would come out. A quick clean of the wound, a fresh bandage and Jamie was good to go. But he wasn’t budging from the bed when I wrapped the bandage around his arm and told him he could go home. 

“You’re all set, Jamie.” I repeated again in my formal ‘doctor’ tone. He finally looked up at me with incredulous eyes. 

“I wanted to ask ye somethin’… before I go.” He ran his hand back through his hair, something I picked up on that he did when he was nervous. 

Crossing my arms in front of me, I quirked up an eyebrow, “Yes?”

“Ye ken how at the theater they sometimes show old movies for a day or two?” His hand was dangerously close to touching my hip again. I nodded, urging him to continue. 

“Weel, they’re playin’ _‘Titanic’_ this week,” he reached for my hand, “and I was wonderin’, Sassenach,” he took a deep breath, “If ye have the time free, would ye come and watch it wi’ me?”

_A date? Bloody Christ, he was asking me on a date!_

“You’re not going to be crying right?” My hand squeezed his back, and he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, “Because I can’t go on a date with a guy who’s going to be crying more than me.” I joked, which made his mouth curve at the side. 

“I’ll be tough as nails, Claire.” He placed his hand over his heart, “Promise.” 

I let go of his hand and reached into the front pocket of my uniform, pulling out my phone. “Put your number in, then you can tell me all the details.” _Smooth, Beauchamp._ I tried not to roll my eyes at how un-smooth that was. 

Thankfully, Jamie didn’t laugh or make fun of me, simply took the proffered phone and typed in his number. “I sent myself a message…” he handed me my phone back, “just to be sure I have yer number and ye dinna forget to text me.” He attempted, at what could only be guessed at, a wink, and I held back my laughter.

“So,” he rose from the bed, immediately fiddling with his bandage, “I’ll see ye in a few days, Sassenach.” 

“You will. I’ll bring the tissues,” this time I winked, making Jamie laugh. I saw a slight rise in the color of his cheeks as he turned to leave the hospital. 

Geillis was not so patiently waiting for me back at the desk. “Spill yer guts, Claire!”

I took a deep breath, “He asked me on a date! We’re going to see ‘Titanic’ sometime this week.” 

“Titanic,” she grimaced, “That movie is about a sinking ship, and lots o’ people die. I didna think that was first date movie material.” 

“The first half is very romantic and sweet, Geillis. Besides…” I blushed, “maybe during the second half, we won’t even be paying attention to the screen.” 

She laughed and nudged me in the side, “Aye, I ken yer meaning, ye wee vixen.” 

++++++

**_Present Day_ **

“ _Ifrinn!_ ” Came a loud angry Scottish voice from down the hall. 

“Are you alright, Jamie?” I called from the kitchen, chopping the vegetables for dinner. 

A loud bang and a sound of papers hitting the floor, made me set down the knife, wipe my hands on a towel and head towards my husband. 

“What’s wrong?” I stood in the door frame, looking down at Jamie on his hands and knees in his study. 

“All this paperwork, I canna —“ he cursed in Gaelic, bumping his head on the underside of his desk. I joined him on the floor, picking up papers and putting them back on his desk. 

“I ken this is a big part of my responsibility now, all this,” he motioned to the mess, “but it drives me mad, Sassenach. I havena been outside in days” He let out a Scottish sound of disgruntlement. “I’ve been condemned to an office, signing form after form!” 

I pried the papers from his fists and pushed them aside on the floor, grabbing his hands and wrapping them around my waist. “Then take a couple days off, you _are_ the boss, Jamie. You are allowed time to breathe.” He sighed against me as he laid his head on my shoulder, “Everyone understands that this is still new to you. It’s only been three months since you took over for your father.”

Jamie leaned back, squeezing my side, “Three months, Sassenach. Surely I should have a better grasp on all of it though.” I knew he was afraid of failing, not only his employees but his father as well. 

“There’s grace for you, Jamie. No one expects you to be perfect from the start.” I closed the space and kissed him. He relaxed against me instantly. 

“I need to get back to the new contracts,” he started to stand up, but I put my hands on his thighs. “Sassenach, will ye let go. I need to finish.” 

“But _I’m_ not finished with you yet, Mr. Fraser.” I licked my lips, and slid my hands further up his thighs towards the waistband of his jeans. 

“Mr. Fraser is it, aye?” His breathing was becoming more rapid as my hands unbuttoned his jeans and started to slide them down his legs. 

“Oh aye.” I winked and pushed him back to lay flat on the ground, moving to straddle his hips. 

“You need to relax, darling. The boss can’t be so tense all the time.” His hands pulled at my skirt, rucking it up around my waist. 

“So ye’ll help me wi’ that?” He squeezed my arse, fondling it as he always did, kneading it like dough. 

“Mmm, yes Mr. Fraser.” I knew he loved it when I called him that, giving him power and authority. 

_“Christ,”_ he sighed as my hands pulled his cock free of his restraining boxer briefs. I put my hand on his chest to steady myself and spread my legs wider with the help of Jamie’s skilled hands. He slid home instantly, filling me so completely, my eyes nearly rolled in the back of my head. 

“Oh God, Jamie,” I moaned, rocking my hips in time with his labored breath. 

He met my hips with a thrust, arching his back off the floor, spreading my legs even wider as I sank down on him. I pulled him up by his shirt and crashed my mouth to his, begging for him. 

It didn’t help his anxiety over his new job that we’d also been trying to get pregnant. Months of sex without protection, and nothing. My period arrived on time. Each. Damn. Month.

So I pressed my thighs tighter around his cock and took him deeper, almost willing a child to be planted in my womb. _Please God, give us a child._

“Sassenach,” he moaned his pet name for me, biting my lips as he spilled his seed into me. My body took over, shaking around him as I collapsed on top of his chest. 

“Mrs. Fraser,” he panted, unwilling to lift me off of him, “I think ye helped me relax… But maybe next time we could do it somewhere there’s no’ carpet?” He laughed, sliding his hands over my back, “I’m gonna have carpet burns for days.” 

“I’ll nurse you back to health, Jamie. Dinna fash.” I mocked his accent which sent him laughing, and he rolled us on the floor, pressing my back firmly to the carpet. 

“Ye know what it does to me when ye speak like that, Sassenach.” He thrust his hips against mine, “Ye’re goin’ to get what ye deserve now!” 

As much as Jamie wanted to give me carpet burns, he couldn’t let himself do it. His hands slid under my back and he pulled me up and we made love, half sitting on the floor of his study. 

After, his hands drifted aimlessly up and down the side of my body, sending shivers across my flushed skin. 

_Perhaps this time round, we’d make a baby._

_Only time would tell._


	3. Movie Date

**_Present Day_ **

Taking a sip of my coffee, I scanned my surgery schedule for the week quickly. I had a major surgery today; one of my patients who I’d been seeing for the last three years was finally getting a heart transplant. Days like this always made me nervous, _would the heart take to it’s new owner? Was all the waiting worth it?_

Jamie’s hands rested on top of my shoulders, lightly kneading the hard knots that were a constant presence on my body. “Ye’ll do great today, Claire. Ye always do.” 

“Thanks,” I sighed, tapping my fingers on my journal. “I just really want this to work — not only for me, but for Joe as well.” Joe Abernathy would be getting his new heart today, he was strong. I knew he could handle it.

Joe was also a close friend. He had been there from the start of mine and Jamie’s relationship; there to offer advice and to tell me when I was being daft over some small issue. 

“I’ll drop by his room after the surgery today,” Jamie kissed the top of my head, smoothing my curls. 

“He’d love to see you.” I stood from the table, drinking the last sip of coffee as I reached for my bag on the chair. 

“Do you want to drive or shall I?” I asked, holding out the keys. 

“I ken ye think I’m a granny driver, Sassenach,” he rolled his eyes playfully at me. “But it’s only to keep ye safe. Ye and the bairn.” His eyes drifted down to my stomach and I slid my hand across it.

“You don’t know.” It had been two weeks since my missed period, and I was never late. I should have known Jamie would be tracking my bodily functions. 

“Aye, I don’t, but I know you.” He stepped closer, slipping an arm around my waist. “I ken yer body better than you do. Yer breasts…” he ran his thumb lightly across my nipple over my scrubs. “They’re bigger, and ye’ve got a glow about ye.” 

“I don’t want to jinx anything,” I sighed and leaned my head against his chest. The last time my period was late by a few days, we had gotten our hopes up only to have them crushed the next day when a small spot of blood showed up on our bed sheets. 

“There’s nothin’ wrong wi’ hopin’ is there, Sassenach?” Jamie held me to him, his heart beating steadily under my ear. 

“No, I suppose not.” Jamie grabbed the keys from my hand. We drove to work with the windows down. As the summer air blew across my cheeks, I allowed myself to hope for the thing I wanted so badly in this world, a child of my own. 

 

**_2015_ **

I changed my outfit probably five times before deciding on a pair of black jeans that hugged my arse, accompanied with a thin green sweater. The air was crisp, but not quite cold enough to fathom lugging around a coat the entire evening. Besides, if I got cold, maybe Jamie would be a gentleman and offer me his coat. 

“Yer wearing that?” Geillis stood in my doorway, disapproval crossing her face. I’d asked her to come over to help get me ready for my date with Jamie. 

I looked again in the mirror, “Yes. What’s wrong with a green sweater?” 

“Och, nothing.” She smirked, “If ye want the man to think of vomit whenever he looks at ye, ye’ve achieved it wi’ that sweater.” 

Rolling my eyes, I huffed out a frustrated sigh, and pulled off the sweater. “Fine. You pick something then since you’re such an expert.”

Geillis smiled, and crossed the room to my open closet, where clothes were strewn about in a mad rush to pick an outfit. 

“Those jeans are good, we’ll stick wi’ those.” She pulled out a red camisole and held it up, but decided against it, letting it fall to the floor. 

“Geillis, don’t make more of a mess.” I grumbled and bent to pick up the articles of clothing she was flinging around the room. 

“Yer closet is already a mess, Claire. What’s a few more pieces?” She laughed and stood on her tiptoes to reach for a black sheer shirt, that I hardly ever wore. In fact… I’d never worn it. 

“No! I’m not wearing that on my date. It’s practically see through.” I took a step back from Geillis as she pulled it off the hanger. 

“That’s just the point, Claire. Ye want him to get a good look at what ye’ve got to offer, but still leave a little something to his imagination.” 

_She was right, as always._

I held out my arms for her and she squealed, sliding the sleeves over my arms as she dressed my like her rag doll. When she clasped the small button at the back, I turned to take a look in the mirror, and was pleasantly surprised to find that I didn’t hate it. 

“Not bad, Beauchamp.” She slapped my arse, and I jumped, swatting at her hand. 

My buzzer rang, and Geillis shouted “Come in!” I gave her a cross look, but smiled, she was having too much fun with this. 

“Sassenach?” Jamie’s voice called from the living room, and I walked out. The look on his face when he saw me, had the butterflies stirring in my stomach. _Thanks Geillis._

“Wow.” He held out both of his arms to me, “Just look at ye, Claire. Absolutely stunnin’.” Blushing, I took his hand, and let him turn me towards the door. 

“Just lock my door when you leave, alright, Geillis?” I paused in the doorway, hoping Jamie didn’t see her making kissy faces at us. I flicked my middle finger up at her, and shut the door as fast as I could. 

++++++

“Ye do look verra bonny, tonight.” His arm slipped across my back as we walked up to the theater’s entrance. The thin material of the shirt left very little to the imagination, and I could feel the heat from his palm on my skin. 

“Thank you,” I blushed, pulling back a curl behind my ear. 

“Two for _‘Titanic’_.” Jamie paid for our tickets, and led us into the movie theater. “Ye want popcorn, Sassenach?”

“Is that even a question?” I laughed, and we got in line for concessions. “Did you really cry watching this movie?”

“Aye. I tried no’ to, but I was young and impressionable when I first saw it.”

“Did you see it when it first came out? What was that… 1997?” I grabbed my drink from the concession and a few napkins, stuffing them into my purse. 

“Och, no. I woulda been only seven years old. No way was my mam lettin’ me see that movie.” He nudged my side, “Wi’ that steamy car scene.” 

“Oh good.” I laughed, “So that makes us about the same age then, I was born in 1989.” We walked into the theater and to my surprise it was virtually empty. 

“An older woman,” he smirked, taking the stairs two at a time and chose the row at the back of the theater. “I knew ye were wise, but I ken why now.” 

A few more people trickled in, but we were still the only ones near the back of the theater. When the lights dimmed and the first trailer started, Jamie and I simultaneously put our legs up on the back of the chairs in front of us. We both started laughing, “I always wait for the trailers, and if anyone hasna come by then, the chair is free game.” 

“I do the same thing!” I wiped a stray tear from my eye _… this man._

We watched the beginning of the movie in silence and I thanked God that he wasn’t one of those annoying movie talkers, always interjecting with his opinion every five seconds. 

As time passed, Jamie’s hand inched closer and closer to mine, before he finally intertwined his fingers with mine. 

I smiled at him, and leaned my head against his shoulder. Going to the movies on a first date was always tricky, since you really couldn’t talk and get to know each other. But I felt I was learning things about him even in the silence. In the way he laughed at the funny parts, and squeezed my hand tightly as the ship sank. He was a man of feeling, a man of passion. 

I couldn’t help but lift my head and sneak a glimpse at his face as Jack drifted down into the water. _He was crying._ Not sobbing, but a few tears slid down his face, and when he caught me looking at him, he laughed. He brought our joined hands up to his face and wiped his tears with the back of my hand. 

“There, there.” I felt tears of my own springing to my eyes, not because of the movie, but because of the intense emotions I was feeling for Jamie. 

When the lights came up, we sat there for a moment, our hands still clasped, laying on his thigh. “Do ye want to go for a wee walk? Before I take ye home.” 

“Sure,” I smiled, and we left the theater, heading in the opposite direction of my house. 

“I’d like to see ye again, Claire.” 

“Really? Asking me out on a second date before the first is even over?” I laughed, wrapping my arm around his. “How bold of you to assume I enjoyed this one.” 

He turned his face to me, his eyes wide, “But I fed ye popcorn and candy, Sassenach. How could ye no’ be pleased?” Jamie walked us towards a fountain in the middle of a small park. 

“I did enjoy it, Jamie.” He sat down on the edge of the fountain, giving his knee a gentle pat for me to sit on. With previous relationships, I had never been so touchy this quickly. But with Jamie, it was all I wanted to do. My hands ached for his when they were apart, and my lips were practically burning with the need to feel his against mine. 

“Maybe for the next date,” he slid his arm around my back to hold me there against his lap, “we do somethin’ that requires more talkin’… I didna realize until we got to the movies how little of it we’d be doin’.” 

I looked into his fathomless blue eyes, those same eyes I had dreams about for the past few weeks since I met him. “There’s something else that we could do right now…” sighing, I ran my fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, “that requires little talking.” 

He arched his eyebrow, and his hand came to cup my cheek. “I would verra much like to kiss ye, Sassenach.”

I leaned in closer to him, “Please,” I begged, and finally our lips met in the most delicious way. 

He tasted salty from the popcorn as I ran my tongue along his bottom lip. Jamie made a contented sigh against my mouth, and he pulled me closer against him. If we weren’t in public, I’m sure we would have ended up tearing each other’s clothes off just then. 

His kiss left me feeling so alive, full of electricity. Since my horrible break up with Frank, I had been so down on myself, blaming myself for my failed relationship. If I was being honest, from the beginning, Frank made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be with him. 

It was the opposite with Jamie. As he held me in his arms, in a small park in Edinburgh, he conveyed his true feelings with his lips. Every touch was a promise, a spark of hope that made me feel worthy - that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I could be whole again. 


	4. Two Pink Lines

**_2015_ **

Staring down at my watch, I realized that Joe Abernathy would be well out of surgery and should be resting. A few months ago, this man had arrived by ambulance in the middle of the night with his wife Gail. Joe had endured a heart attack and was then rushed into an emergency coronary bypass surgery. I had been one of the residents on call that night and had assisted in his surgery. 

Joe was a funny man, he and his wife had moved to Edinburgh from Boston only three years ago. He also wasn’t an old man, which is why his heart failure was such a major concern. I walked down the hallway, responding to a recent text from Jamie asking me what my favorite flower was. 

I stood in the doorway of Joe’s room, a smile across my lips when Joe cleared his throat, making me jump. “Lady Jane, who’s making you smile so big?”

“Oh no one,” I winked and walked to the side of his bed, “You wouldn’t want to here about it.” 

“Try me,” he smiled. Even after his second open heart surgery, Joe was no less curious and witty.

I took a seat at the end of the bed near his feet, “His name is Jamie Fraser… I met him a little more than a month ago.” I couldn’t help it as my face blushed red. 

“Fraser…” Joe mused, “Fraser, as in the name of this hospital?” He shot his eyebrows up in surprise as my eyes grew big. “My my, Lady J, you’ve caught a big fish.” 

“Indeed,” I smiled, nervously tapping my finger on my thigh, “We’ve gone on one date, and he’s already asked me out for another.” 

“Are you _smitten_ with this man?” Joe asked. 

I thought about it for a moment. Was I smitten with Jamie? He was definitely all I had thought about over this last month. I had re-lived our movie date over and over in my head, especially that kiss. 

“I suppose that’s the correct word for it,” my cheeks blushed a deep shade of red and I felt the heat creep up my neck. 

“Well if it goes any further, LJ, I’m gonna have to meet this young man who seems to have stolen your heart. You’ve helped save mine a time or two, it’s only fair.” He grinned. _Cheeky man._

“Alright, sounds like a plan. You rest up okay Joe? I’ll be back after my rounds in a few hours.” I gave his foot a gentle pat, and left his room to continue my rounds. 

As I turned down the hallway, my pager buzzed, alerting me to come to the emergency room. _Christ, I hope it wasn’t something horrible._

The flame of red curls caught me off guard as I ran into the E.R. “Jamie?” I asked and walked over to him and a young boy sitting in a wheelchair. “What’s wrong?”

“Och, Sassenach.” He smiled and then followed my gaze down to the young boy. “Oh this is my nephew… also named Jamie. My sister and her husband are away for the weekend and it seems the lad has come down with the chicken pox.” Jamie clenched his teeth, sucking in a sharp breath.

“Chicken pox, aye?” I said, crouching down to be eye level with the young Jamie. He looked up at me with watery eyes, no doubt in a bit of pain from all the itchiness and red bumps. 

“It itches somethin’ fierce miss,” the young lad complained, reaching to scratch as the red marks on his arms. I grabbed his wrist and held it away from his body. 

“I’m afraid that has to stop, lad. No more scratching, do you understand? It will only make it worse.” I gave him a sympathetic smile. 

I was able to prescribe young Jamie _Acyclovir_ , an antiviral medication to help with the chicken pox, but the rest of the work was up to the older Jamie. 

“You must gently rub some calamine lotion on the little red spots, and maybe tape some over mitts around his hands,” I added as I took a glance once again at the young lad. 

“Of course Jenny had to go away,” Jamie smirked, “She’ll think this was my own fault!” 

“He most likely caught it from someone in his school, you couldn’t have done anything about it,” I reassured him, laying my hand on his shoulder. I felt him tense a bit, but then relax as he met my eye. 

“Thank ye, Sassenach. Seems my family are in debt to ye for always fixin’ our pains.” Jamie smiled, letting his hand brush against mine. I wanted to kiss him right then, but thought better of it, not wanting to appear unprofessional at my job. 

“It’s your hospital after all, what better way to see if it’s in good working order than to come in with a few scrapes and bruises,” I laughed. 

“’Tis no’ mine, ye ken that well enough, Claire,” He smiled gently. “But aye, yer right. Seems we’ve employed the right kind of people here too.” Jamie bent his head and placed a soft kiss against my cheek. 

“Jamie…” I blushed, looking around the room to see if anyone caught that. 

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. As owner’s son, I can kiss whoever I want.” Jamie smirked. 

I stepped in closer to him, “I want to kiss you… very badly, but I don’t want our relationship to appear as favoritism to my co-workers.” 

Jamie raised his eyebrows, “A relationship is it? I wasna aware.” 

I hit him playfully on the arm, “Oh stop, you bloody scot!” Laughing, I saw Geillis standing by the nurses station and saw her wink before I looked back up at Jamie. 

“Speaking of, my family is having a big dinner this weekend, and I was wonderin’ if ye would like to come?” 

“To meet your family?” I asked, “Isn’t it a bit soon?”

“Och, there’s no rulebook, Sassenach. I would verra much like for them to meet the angel who stitched me up. Only if ye want to that is…” He looked at me with hopeful blue eyes. 

Jamie had come out of nowhere. I wasn’t exactly looking for a serious relationship, especially after Frank and all that mess, but here he was. He nudged my side with his elbow and I smiled, “Sure. It would be really nice to meet your family.” I admitted, and it would be very pleasant, until the knot in my stomach reminded me exactly who I would be meeting. “Oh Christ…” I gasped. 

“What?” He asked, concerned. 

“I only just realized that I’ll be meeting your father, my boss.” I laughed then, and took a deep breath. “I better make a good impression if I want to keep my job.” 

“Ye’ll be grand, Sassenach. How could they no’ love ye?” Jamie grinned. 

He gave me a warm hug before leaving with young Jamie, who was struggling to keep his fingers from scratching his chicken pox. This was the third time that Jamie had come into the hospital leaving me completely breathless. 

**_Present Day_ **

I put the small stick on the bathroom counter and started pacing back and forth. Three minutes — that’s how long the pregnancy test said to wait. 

“Bloody easy for you to say,” I said to absolutely no one. I must be pregnant if I was talking to myself now.

This was the first home test I had done since my missed period two weeks ago, and while I didn’t want to get my hopes up, I badly wanted it to be positive. I was done with the hopeful expectations and the eventual disappointment that followed. Jamie was strong, as he always was, but I could tell that with each negative response, his heart broke a little each time. 

“Sassenach?” Jamie knocked softly on the bathroom door, “Are ye alright in there?”

I had come home from work with a plastic bag and declared that I was going to lock myself in the bathroom to take the test. It took him all of two seconds to follow me, but I didn’t allow him in. This time I needed to be alone, my nerves were on the fringe. 

“Yes,” I sighed. “It should be another minute.” 

Another light knock, “Will ye please let me in? Ye’re done peeing on the wee stick.” 

Looking in the mirror, I brushed back a few loose curls, took a deep breath and opened the door to let him in. Immediately he rushed to the counter to look at the stick. “It doesna have anythin’ on it, Claire.” 

“I told you it was another minute, I’ve set a timer on my phone,” I huffed, placing my hands on my hips. While pregnancy was usually supposed to bring joy and happiness to a marriage… the constant rollercoaster of emotions that went with trying to become pregnant was a strain on ours. 

“Then we’ll wait another minute,” Jamie said, setting the stick back down and crossing his arms over his chest. Neither one of us moved or spoke while the timer on my phone counter down. 

At last, a repetitive beep echoed from my phone and I walked over to Jamie, grabbing my phone and shutting it off. I reached for the stick, but held it out to Jamie. “You look this time, I can’t.”

He took it from my hand, and I stared down at my feet, waiting for the results. I felt a tiny flutter in the pit of my stomach, and instinctively I moved my hand across my belly. 

“What does two wee pink lines mean, Sassenach?” Jamie said, staring at the stick with squinted eyes. 

“There’s two lines? Are you sure?” I gasped, and took the stick out of his hands. I saw for myself, the two pink lines. It had always been just the one line, the single line that meant I was not pregnant. Never two lines. 

To reassure myself, I grabbed the box from the counter, reading and re-reading how to determine the results. “Two pink lines appear in the Easy Read Result Window. This result shows that the pregnancy hormone was detected. Please see your healthcare professional to confirm this result.” I set the box gently down and looked up at Jamie with tears in my eyes. 

“Sassenach… we’re pregnant aye?” He smiled, tears brimming to the surface of his own blue eyes. 

I nodded, hardly believing it, “Well, yes I rather think we are!” At that, Jamie picked me up with his arms around my waist and lifted me into the air, hugging me as tightly as he could. All of a sudden, he set me back down on my feet and then pushed me away from his body. 

“I dinna want to crush the bairn,” he smiled, rubbing his hand over my belly.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his protective side, “It’s alright Jamie, the baby is very tiny, you won’t hurt her.” 

“Her? Christ, a wee lassie.” Jamie grinned. 

“Of course, I’ll need to set up an appointment to confirm the pregnancy, but I’ve never had a test read like this before.” Smiling, I leaned up on my tiptoes and placed a firm kiss on Jamie’s lips. “We’ve got a bun in the oven, Mr. Fraser.” 

“A wee loaf,” Jamie chuckled. 

“Excuse me, our baby is not a loaf.” I laughed with him, and then sighed. “A baby… _our baby_ Jamie, can you believe it?”

“I canna believe it, Sassenach. After months and months of trying, ’tis the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life!” Jamie smiled, then deciding that he would not in fact hurt the baby, he lifted me up in his arms, and carried me over to the bed. 

“I ken ye’re wi’ child, but this doesna mean we have to stop havin’ sex right? Because I verra much want ye, Claire.” Jamie laid me down and I spread myself out on the bed. 

Reaching up, I pushed the few red curls off his forehead, “No, we don’t have to stop.” I opened my arms for him and welcomed Jamie to my body. Soon, I would be able to feel the swell of my belly and the little kicks from within. And then I would be able to hold our child in my arms, a promise of our love come to life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Boss's Boss

**_2015_ **

The car door slammed shut behind me, and I jumped, only making Jamie laugh. I was quite nervous to be meeting his father, considering he was my boss’s boss. The owner of the hospital.

“Sassenach, my parents, they’ll love ye. There’s no need to worry.” Jamie slid his hand in mine, giving it a tight squeeze as we walked towards the door of his childhood home, Lallybroch. 

“But what if I make a fool of myself?” I asked with a shrug of my shoulders. 

“Ye won’t.” Jamie smirked, “Besides, tis no my father ye have to impress. It’s my sister, Jenny.” He smiled, and then opened the door. _No turning back now, Beauchamp._

Lallybroch was decorated for the autumn season accordingly, with vases of golden flowers, small pumpkins covering the surface of every table, and a roaring fire to make the scene complete. “It’s so… cozy,” I remarked, and couldn’t help but smile at the inviting feeling I already had. 

“It’s a bonny home to be sure,” Jamie said. I was just about to say something about all the family pictures on the wall when I was interrupted by a dark brown haired woman, who looked about eight months pregnant. 

“ _Mo bhràthair, tha e math a bhith gad fhaicinn_ ,” she said, embracing Jamie in an awkward angled hug. 

“ _Piuthar, ciamar a tha thu_?” Jamie replied, and I smiled watching the Fraser siblings slip so naturally into their natural tongue. 

Jamie slipped his arm around my waist, and that made me refocus my attention on the small woman before me. “And this… is Claire Beauchamp,” Jamie beamed proudly. 

“Hi, you must be Jenny?” I smiled, offering my hand. “It’s so lovely to finally meet you.” 

I let out a small sigh of relief as Jenny took my hand, and wrapped it with her other one, squeezing it gently. “Jamie’s told me a lot about ye, Claire. And I’ve been wantin’ to thank ye for helpin’ out my daft brother when young Jamie got the chickenpox.” She threw an annoyed look over at Jamie. 

“Twas no me that gave him the pox, Janet and ye ken it well,” Jamie defended himself. 

Jenny laughed, releasing my hand, “Come on, Mam’s waiting for us in the kitchen. Ye two are late.” 

I looked nervously at Jamie, “I told you to speed up, now we’re late.” 

“They’re family, Sassenach. Quick to forgive.” He kissed my temple, placing one hand on the small of my back as they joined the rest of his family in the kitchen. 

“H-uile duine!” Jamie said, and the room broke into shouts of joy. The scene of Jamie hugging his parents reminded me of the prodigal son, returning home after so long. 

“Everyone,” Jamie pulled Claire to his side, and the room fell silent. “I’d like ye to meet my girlfriend, Claire Beauchamp… a resident at _Fraser Memorial_.” 

“Ah, the famous Claire,” said Jamie’s mother, Ellen who was standing by the over with mitts on both her hands. “Tis lovely to meet ye at last.”

Brian Fraser stepped around the table, offering me his hand, “If yer half the woman Jamie says ye are, then it’s an honor to meet ye, Claire.” He bowed his head and place a kiss on my hand. 

I couldn’t help but blush, it seems all the Fraser men have a natural charm, and suddenly I wanted to talk with Ellen to find out more about her time dating a Fraser. “Thank you for having me in your home, Mr Fraser. It’s so beautiful.” I smiled. 

“Och, call me Brian, lass. Everyone calls me Mr. Fraser at work, and this is home.” He admitted as he placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a small pat.

Jamie squeezed my side, and I looked up to see him beaming down at me. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Told ye they would love ye, Sassenach.” 

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to see the man, Ian, that had first brought Jamie to the hospital.

“Claire! Fancy seein’ ye here,” he smirked, looking up at Jamie. “The lad hasna stopped talkin’ about ye since I brought him in to the hospital.” Ian smiled, pushing his hand roughly against Jamie’s arm. I took note that they were very close, and thought perhaps they had known each other for a very long time. 

We took our places at the dinner table, and my mouth started to drool at the sight of the delicious food that Ellen kept bringing to the table. Jamie told me his mother always made home cooked meals — this was very different to my upbringing with my Uncle Lamb. We’d always eaten fast food, or whatever local cuisine was available in whatever country Lamb had been exploring on his archeological digs. 

I felt at ease around the table with the Fraser’s, like somehow I already belonged. 

“So Claire, tell me,” Brian took a sip of whisky, “From someone on the inside… how’s life at the hospital?”

I brushed a loose curl out of my face, “Well, I’ve only ever worked at two hospitals, yours, and then one in Oxford. But I must say,” I smiled, “ _Fraser Memorial_ is by far the best. I always love going to work everyday.” 

Brian winked at me, and I had to stop myself from laughing — it seems that Jamie did not inherit his winking abilities from his father. 

“Good to hear, lass. And ye ken, it’s no long now until it’s Jamie’s turn to run things.” Brian smiled over at Jamie, and I felt him tense beside me. On the drive over, Jamie and told me how his father was thinking about stepping down and handing off the responsibility to him. He had expressed his fears of not being prepared for the job. 

As Brian spoke however, I could easily picture Jamie stepping up and taking over the responsibilities at the hospital. 

“That’s enough talk about work now,” Ellen clapped her hands gently. “Who wants some freshly baked cookies?” 

++++++

I sat on the couch, my feet propped up on Jamie’s lap and sighed, content. My belly was full of cookies and my skin was warm from the fire. Jamie tapped his fingers gently on my ankles and all I wanted to do was sink down into the pillows. 

“Do ye want to sleep here tonight, Sassenach?” Jamie asked, and I blinked a few times and he repeated his question. 

“We could stay in my old room, I ken it’s a bit of a drive back to the city. And ye dinna have work tomorrow, right?” He asked. 

I was very aware of how he had said ‘we’, and staying in his old room. We had kissed — many times — but we hadn’t slept together yet. Not that I was suddenly expecting Jamie to make love to me for the first time in his family home. _But I wouldn’t say no…_

Rubbing my the backs of my hands lazily across my eyes, I smiled, “Sure. That sounds nice actually.” 

“Grand,” he smiled, and raised my feet off his lap to stand up. “I’ll go see if Jenny has any clothes for ye to sleep in. My room is upstairs, and the last one on the right of the hallway.” 

“I’ll meet you there,” I watched him head off to find Jenny somewhere in the house and then stood up. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I marched upstairs in search of Jamie’s room. There were so many doors, and I feared walking in on Brian and Ellen asleep in their room. 

I walked slowly, counting the doors as I passed by. Just as I reached the last door on the right, a hand came from behind me and pressed on the door. “How slow did ye walk, Sassenach?” Jamie smirked, and then ushered me into the room. 

“Here’s some of Jenny’s sleep clothes. She said ye can keep them if ye want, after her pregnancies she hasna been able to fit back into them.” Jamie laid out a matching silk pajama set.  

I walked over to the bed, and held up the black camisole, “Jenny gave me silk sleeping pajamas…” I lifted a brow, “What exactly does she think we’ll be doing in here?”

Jamie laughed loudly, pressing his hand over his mouth. “Christ, I dinna want to think that my sister gave ye those clothes to get me laid.” 

“If I was going to sleep with you Jamie Fraser,” I dropped the pajamas to the bed, and walked to stand in front of him, “I wouldn’t bother with _any_ clothes.” 

I felt a sense of pride as I watched Jamie’s jaw almost hit the floor. “You’re drooling, Fraser.” 

“How can I no when the most beautiful woman in the world says somethin’ like that?” He stepped forward, sliding his hands around my hips. 

“Claire…” he kissed me gently, “I would verra much like to-“

I silenced him with a kiss, then took a step back, reached for the hem of my dress, and pulled it over my head. 

“ _Tha mi ‘n dùil sgàin mo chridhe_ ,” Jamie whispered, closing the space between us.

 

**_Present Day_ **

Jamie and I held hands as we waited to go into our first ultrasound. I had been so nervous the past few weeks, just hoping that everything would be alright. Especially considering how long we tried to get pregnant and the failed attempts. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Fraser?” A woman walked out, and motioned for us to come into the back. I would have thought I wouldn’t feel nervous at a doctor’s office, considering my profession, but this wasn’t professional… this was personal. 

“Do you know about how far along you are, Mrs Fraser?” The doctor asked as I laid back on the chair. 

“Well, I think about 11 weeks, but I’m not entirely sure.” I smiled. The doctor rolled up my shirt, and squirted the cold jelly onto my stomach. 

“Sorry it’s so cold,” she smiled. I reached for Jamie’s hand as we looked at the screen. “So it’s a little soon to tell the gender of the baby, but I would put you at roughly 12 weeks Mrs Fraser.” 

Jamie squeezed my hand, “And everything looks as it should be?”

The doctor nodded, “Oh yes. Everything looks perfectly normal, and oh -“ she stopped moving the transducer and took a closer look at the screen. “I’ve got two heartbeats here.” 

“Two heartbeats?” Jamie said, “So that’ll be the bairn and Claire?” 

The doctor turned to us, and smiled, “You’re carrying twins Mrs. Fraser.” 

My mouth opened, but no words escaped. I looked up at Jamie, and saw tears in his eyes. 

“Taing Dhia!” He kissed me, and I felt my own tears fall down my cheeks. “Blessed with two bairns.” 

“Twins…” I whispered, and looked up at the monitor. “I never thought I would be able to have a baby, let alone twins.” 

“Well congratulations,” the doctor smiled warmly, then began to wipe off the gel. 

“Jamie, can you believe it?” I hugged him when we stepped out of the doctor’s office. 

He held me tightly, “I’m so happy, Sassenach. I didna know I could ever feel this much joy.” 

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” I sighed against his chest, “Two newborn babies… at the same time.” 

“Tis a good thing we have Jenny to help us,” Jamie smirked, and kissed me. 

“Thank God for Jenny Fraser,” I laughed and leaned into Jamie once again. I slid my hand over my belly and Jamie covered it with his. We weren’t a family of three anymore… now we were a growing family of _four._


	6. Grapefruits

**_2015_ **

I met Jamie Fraser three months ago and of three things I was certain. One: he was the only person that could truly make me laugh when I was having a shitty day. Two: Jamie was as stubborn as a rock when it came to just about anything. And three: I couldn’t live without him. 

One day after work, Jamie picked me up and instantly knew that that something was off with me. 

“Do ye want to talk about it, Sassenach?” He asked, blocking me from getting into the passenger seat. 

I shook my head and said nothing. Sighing, he kissed the top of my head before opening my door for me and I climbed inside, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. 

After driving for twenty minutes, I realized we weren’t headed in the direction of either of our houses. “Where are we going?”

“Och, I thought we’d go to the Christmas markets, do a bit of shopping and lookin’ around,” he said with a cautious smile, still wary of my off kilter mood. 

“Fine,” I groaned as I looked out the window. I knew I should tell him what was wrong, but I was afraid to bring it up… to pop our perfect bubble. 

Jamie was respectful though and kept to himself for the rest of the drive, never once asking me what was wrong, even though I knew it must be killing him. Snow had begun to fall lightly and my shoes made crunching sounds as we walked to the markets. On any other day, I would love this — being here with him, sipping hot chocolate and buying Christmas presents. But not today. 

“Are ye hungry, Claire?” Jamie asked, his use of my name caught me off guard. 

I looked up at him and saw the concern in his eyes, “Not just now,” I smiled weakly, “Maybe later though.” 

It was crowded at the markets, and Jamie held my hand tightly as we made our way through the busy sea of people. We turned the corner and started walking towards the Christmas tree maze. It was all so beautiful, but nothing could change my mood, or lift my spirits. 

“Want to do the maze, Claire?” Jamie asked. 

I nodded, knowing that he brought me here to try and cheer me up. I needed to tell him.

“Jamie,” I pulled on his hand as he started walking away and he turned back to face me. 

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Looking up into his blue eyes, I suddenly felt nervous and scared at the same time. 

“Ye can tell me anything, Sassenach.” Jamie smiled, wrapping both his arms around my waist, and pressed his forehead against mine, creating a safe cocoon. 

I took a deep breath, and placed both my hands on his chest. “Today at work, there was a husband and wife that came into the emergency room. They were in a terrible car crash…”

“ _Mo nighean donn_ ,” Jamie said softly, squeezing my waist and letting me continue. 

“And I’ve seen people injured before, obviously,” I sniffed and buried my head into the crook of his neck. “But today… today is the ten year anniversary of my parents death.” 

I felt Jamie’s body tense against mine, and he held me tighter. 

“How?” He said quietly. 

“Car crash,” I felt tears prickle my eyes. 

“Why didn’t ye tell me before, Sassenach?” Jamie pulled back and I looked up at him through watery eyes. “I wouldna have brought ye here…” he motioned around to all the people. 

“I just didn’t want to burst our happy bubble. Things are going so well,” I gave him my best attempt at a half smile. 

“Aye, they are. Do ye trust me, Claire?” Jamie brushed his thumb across my cheek softly, “Do ye trust me wi’ yer heart?”

I avoided looking at his eyes until the last second and when I did, I nearly fell down. His eyes sparkled, filled with tears of his own. “Yes, I do, Jamie.” 

“Then trust that I’ll protect it, no matter what.” He smiled warmly, “I want to be there for ye when yer havin’ a bad day. And I want ye to know that whatever pain ye bear, whatever memories that haunt ye… I’ll bear that pain as well.” 

Jamie dipped his head, slowly pressing his lips against mine. He tasted salty and I thought that I must taste the same. He held me to him for awhile — it could have been minutes or hours, I lost all sense of time. 

I took a deep breath and looked up at him once again, “Thank you.” 

“Anythin’ for ye, Sassenach.” Jamie kissed me and then took a look at our surroundings. “I ken ye might no want to be here right now, and I promise to take ye home, but only if…” He raised one brow, “I can make ye laugh.” 

“Make me laugh?” I asked, a bit confused. 

“Aye, if I can properly make ye laugh, cheer ye up a bit, then we’ll go home and we can bury ourselves under the covers and I’ll not ask anything of ye.” Jamie attempted a wink and that alone nearly had me laughing. 

I took a step back and place both hands on my hips, “Alright… give it your best shot, Fraser.” 

Bringing his hand to his chin, he squinted, as if thinking of his best jokes. “Aye, I’ve got one… surely ye’ll laugh at this.” He grinned and took on his natural born storyteller stance, “What’s the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in the bath?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know… what’s the difference?”

“One has hope in her soul, and the other has soap in her hole!” Jamie said, laughing at his own joke. All I did was crack half a smile, giving him a look that read ‘that’s the best you got?’

“Hmmm, a tough wee biscuit are ye?” Jamie hummed. 

“I don’t find nuns and their… holes particularly funny.” I grinned and tapped my fingers along my crossed arms. It had actually been a funny joke but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction on the first try. 

“Alright… another one then.” 

He clapped his hands together, “Sassenach, what’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?”

“Snowballs,” I replied with a smirk and Jamie stared back, his mouth gaping. 

“Twas my joke, _mo ghraidh_ … ye stole it!” He laughed. “Okay… one more wee joke. Surely this will get ye rollin’.” Jamie took a step forward, placing his hands on my hips. “Yer about as stubborn as me, Sassenach.” 

“No one is as stubborn as you, Jamie,” I rolled my eyes slightly. 

“Aye, that may be true. It’s a Fraser thing, ye’ve met my family after all,” he chuckled softly. 

“Tell me the joke,” I said, pushing my hand against his chest. I decided that even if it wasn’t funny, I would laugh at this next one. He had promised to take me home if I laughed, and I wanted very badly to be curled up with him in bed. 

“How does a hedgehog make love?” Jamie said, all while sliding his hands over my arse, and pressing himself against me. 

My breath was coming up short and I looked up at him, “I don’t know, how?”

“Verra…” he kissed my cheek, “carefully.” 

I snorted, covering my mouth with my hand and started to actually laugh. “You ridiculous human being.” 

“I made ye laugh though, didn’t I, Sassenach?!” Jamie smiled, clearly thrilled with his achievement. 

I leaned up on my toes and kissed him soundly, “Yes. You did make me laugh, thank you.” 

“Now we can finally go home,” he squeezed my side and started to walk back to the car, but I stayed put. “What?”

“You bring me all the way here, and yet you haven’t even bought me a cup of hot chocolate…” I pursed my lips. 

“Och, where are my manners, mo ghraidh. We must see to that at once!” Jamie laughed, then led us in the direction of the nearest warm sugary beverage. 

That was the first night I knew… that I would never be able to live without him. That I always needed him by my side, when the days were good and when the days were not so kind. My heart was connected to his by a fragile string, and over time I hoped our bond would grow, become strong and outlast anything that came our way. 

 

**_Present Day_ **

Shifting in bed, I let out a deep sigh and rolled to my side. At five months pregnant, carrying twins I already felt gigantic and I still had months to go. The doctor said the twins were about the size of grapefruits at this stage and ever since our last ultrasound, Jamie hadn’t stopped referring to them as his _‘wee grapefruits’_.

So when Jamie walked in our bedroom, carrying a tray of breakfast, I nearly choked on my own saliva when I saw two grapefruits, sliced and ready to be eaten. 

“Jamie!” I said, eyes wide at the fruit in question. 

“What is it, Sassenach?” He stammered and looked at me with alarm in his eyes. Quickly he set the tray on the bed and was next to me in a flash. “Is it the bairns?”

“No, it’s not the babies. Jamie…” I looked at the tray, “I can’t eat grapefruits.” 

He looked back at me confused, “Is it the fruit? Only a wee joke, mo cridhe.” Jamie smirked, stretching his hand across my belly. 

“Well I don’t think it’s so funny to be eating our babies, now is it?” 

Jamie gasped, his eyes wide, “Are the bairns makin’ yer head soft, Sassenach? Surely ye dinna think these fruits are actually the babes?”

I opened and then closed my mouth, watching him smirk, his eyes alight with mischief. “No. Of course I don’t. But it’s just… odd, to think of them as fruits and then to see it.” I stared at the tray in front of me. 

“Fine, I’ll take the grapefruits back to kitchen and ye’ll no have to see them anymore,” Jamie kissed my forehead and then picked up both fruits, cradling them to his chest. “C’mon wee Tavish, and ye too wee Tavia.” 

“Excuse me? What did you just call the grapefruits?” I laughed and Jamie turned back to me, still cradling the fruits. 

“Tavish for the lad and Tavia for the lassie,” he said simply. “The names mean _‘twin’_ … ’tis only somethin’ to call them until we decide on a name.” 

“Well you can be sure, my lad, that we will not be calling our children Tavish and Tavia,” I smirked. “I haven’t thought about baby names at all actually.” 

Jamie placed the fruits back on the tray and came to sit at my feet, bringing them in his lap. “Do ye have any particular names in mind, Sassenach?” He pushed his thumb into the arch of my feet and made an audible groan. 

“Beatrice for a girls name?” I said, “Has a proper British sound to it, I suppose.” 

“Aye, it does. But the bairns willna be in England, Sassenach.” Jamie lifted his brows. “What about Malcolm? After one of my middle names…”

“Malcolm Fraser…” I said, sounding it out on my tongue, “A top choice to be sure, and what about a girls name?”

“What about a name of a flower? Ye like all the green stuff, ye ken.” Jamie smiled, continuing to move his fingers against the soles of my feet. 

“Lily.” I said, “Lily Fraser?”

“Lilidh, of course.” Jamie said. 

“That’s what I said… Lily.” 

“Spelled L-i-l-i-d-h. ’Tis the Gaelic spelling.” He smiled. 

“Malcolm and Lilidh Fraser,” I said, rubbing my hand over my protruding belly. “Do you two like those names?” Just then I felt a gentle kick from the inside and made a sort of squealing noise, making Jamie jump. 

“What?” He moved closer and I grabbed his hand, sliding it over my belly. 

“Just wait,” I said. A few moments later, I felt another kick and Jamie looked down at my belly, rubbing it slowly. 

“The rascals,” he laughed, “Ye dinna hurt yer mam, ye ken. Ye both be kind to her!” Jamie bent his head, placing a kiss on the bump before leaning up to kiss me. 

“If they like the names, then so do I, Sassenach,” leaning his forehead against mine, I brought one hand to cup his cheek. 

“Of course, it’s two girls or two boys, we’ll need more options.” 

“Aye, I’ve plenty of good strong Scottish names in mind,” Jamie kissed me and then climbed next to me in bed. He lifted my shirt, bringing it over my belly, and ran his hand slowly over it. 

“I love ye, Claire. I want to thank ye if I havena already… for carrying our bairns. For being so brave.” He kissed me tenderly. 

“It’s my pleasure, Jamie.” I smiled, rubbing my hand against the scruff of his cheek. Jamie shifted against me, so his head rested on top of the bump. Sitting up slightly from the pillows, I lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the ground. Jamie turned his head, his eyes now fixed on my hardened nipples. 

“Would it hurt ye if I-“ 

“No, it wouldn’t… I don’t think.” 

With his hands still covering my belly, he lifted his head and placed his mouth over one nipple, sucking on the sensitive nub. “Christ,” I sighed, moaning from the sensitivity. 

“Alright?” He asked and I nodded. Treating my other breast with the same affection, he began to suck, and flattened his tongue on my peak. My head rolled to the side and I wound my hand at the nape of his neck, just holding him against me. With our babies growing inside of me, and my husband loving me with his mouth, I sighed happily, completely content… a feeling so unlike anything in all my life. 


	7. The Stables

**_Present Day_ **

“I’m bloody huge!” I groaned from the couch.

My belly was so big now that when I laid down, I couldn’t see a damn thing past it. But I could see little nudges and kicks from inside, our two wee babies waiting to come out and join us in the world. 

“Yer no huge, Sassenach,” Jamie kissed me on the forehead briefly before setting a bowl of popcorn on my protruding bump. “There’s just more of ye to love.” 

I grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at him, “Oh would you sod off, James Fraser!”  


Jamie laughed and dodged the flying food, then lifted up my feet so he could sit down on the couch. Once comfortably positioned, he pressed play on the show we had just found called, _Outlander,_ and reached for the popcorn on my stomach. Oddly enough, the characters on the show had the same names as us, and I couldn’t help but laugh every time the character “Claire” yelled out “Jamie!” 

“Do you think these two will end up happy like us, Sassenach?” Jamie grinned, almost laughing at the use of my nickname since it was also said in the show. 

“I hope so!” I smiled, “Their wedding was HOT! So they better end up happy!” I fanned myself with my hand. 

“Did ye think we would end up like this?” Jamie took one of my feet in his hands and started rubbing the sole with strong fingers. 

I took another bite of popcorn, thinking about the last few years. “I did. Not always, of course. But when I first met you, I knew.” 

“Aye, I knew it too,” his fingers pressed into the arch of my foot and I couldn’t help but moan. “And when I brought ye home to meet my family, I was sold on ye, _mo nighean donn_. That was when I decided I wanted to propose, did ye ken that?”

“I didn’t know that,” My cheeks flushed red despite having been married to him for more than two years. Whenever Jamie looked at me like he was now, I felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, always giggling and blushing. “But I kind of suspected it was around then because only one month later, you bloody proposed!” 

Jamie laughed, leaning his head back on the couch, “Sassenach, I was scared to lose ye! I ken it had only been four months of us even knowin’ each other, but ye said _‘yes’_ after all,” he smirked, now rubbing his hands over my calves. 

“I did say ‘yes’, and I wouldn’t change my answer for the world. Although I’ll never forget the looks on your parents faces when we told them we were engaged!” I laughed, remembering the smile on Brian’s face that equally matched his wife’s, a twinkle in both their eyes that told me they knew that this was bound to happen all along.  

 

**_January 2016_ **

Jamie had brought me to Lallybroch for the holidays, and it was the perfect place to be — surrounded by a family that took me in as one of their own. Since the death of my parents and the more recent passing of my Uncle Lamb, Christmas had stopped being full of magic and joy. 

The Frasers celebrated early on Christmas morning, and it couldn’t be helped because young Jamie made sure that everyone woke on time for presents. I had been nervous to give his family presents since I had only just met them a little more than a month ago, so Jamie and I picked out presents together and gave them. 

While Christmas Day had been incredible on its own, with a late afternoon snowball fight and sipping hot chocolate around the fire in the night, the really memorable day was last night — Hogmanay. 

It was New Year’s Eve, but with a Scottish flare, and I discovered very quickly just how much liquor a scotsman could take.

++++++ 

“Jamie,” I laughed, my cheeks flushed from spinning in circles with him on the dance floor, “Can you get me another drink?”

He kissed me on the mouth, tasting of whisky, and left to grab us more drinks. The living room at Lallybroch had been cleared of its furniture to make space for dancing and socializing. The table to the side was covered with all kinds of cheeses, meats and desserts. I had spent the first thirty minutes of the party perusing the table, stuffing my face and belly. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned, expecting it to be Jamie but it was his father, Brian. “Claire, may I have the next dance?” 

Smiling, I took his proffered hand, “Sure, I would love to.”

Thankfully the next song didn’t require much spinning and twirling, just a medium tempo that was light on the feet. Brian took my hand in his, sliding his other one around to rest on my back and we started to dance. 

“I havena known ye long, Claire,” Brian said, “But I ken ye’ve a good heart from the way ye treat my son.” 

I couldn’t help the blush that creeped on my cheeks, “Your son is not very hard to love.” 

“Aye, that’s true, but he’s very easy to hate,” he laughed and his gaze drifted over to Jamie who was talking with his mother, “The most stubborn bairn.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate him,” I said, following Brian’s line of sight.

“That’s good then, love and hate canna exists in a marriage, Claire.” Brian then looked at me, his eyebrows raised. 

“Oh it’s too soon to even think about marriage!” I laughed, but in the pit of my stomach, I felt butterflies at the thought. 

“I ken my son has been thinkin’ about it, probably since the first time he laid eyes on ye, lass. I’ve never seen him like this — so happy, and free.” Brian said wistfully. “He closed himself off as a young lad after his brother died, William… ye’ll ken about him, I’m sure?”

I nodded, “Yes. Jamie told me all about him.” I hesitated, not wanting to overstep my bounds with the head of my hospital. “It was a wonderful thing you did — naming the hospital after him.” 

Brian looked down at me with a gentle smile and tears in his eyes at the thought of his first son, “Thank ye, Claire.” 

The song ended and he led me back over to Jamie who had been waiting with our drinks. 

“Sassenach!” Jamie smiled, kissing me deeply and wrapping his arm around my waist. “Here’s yer drink, now come wi’ me.” 

Jamie tugged on my empty hand, and I laughed as he zig-zagged his way through the dancing crowd, careful not to spill my drink. When we stepped outside, I felt a chill run down my spine and shivered from the frosty weather. 

“Where are we going?”

“The stables,” Jamie smirked, only tugging on my hand harder to follow him. 

He led us into a decent sized barn that was just a little ways off the property. Thankfully it was wired with electricity and so it wasn’t pitch black when we stepped inside, but it was still quite cold.

Jamie brought my hand he was holding up to his mouth and kissed each knuckle, and started laughing. “Are you drunk, Jamie Fraser?”

He laughed some more, squeezing my hand and holding it tight to his chest. “Nah, a Scotsman is never drunk, Sassenach, if he can stand on his own two feet.” 

Jamie pulled me to him, wrapping both arms around me and I looked up at him, trapped between his strong arms. “You’re barely standing, any minute I suspect you’ll fall over and take me with you!” 

“Aye, if that means ye’ll be on top of me, Sassenach, then I’ll gladly admit I’m drunk,” Jamie smirked, bent his head and licked the tip of my nose. I pressed my fingers across his lips, feeling the warmth spread to them as he breathed. Slowly, _too slowly_ , Jamie opened his mouth, swiping his tongue across my finger before taking it into his mouth. I moaned as he sucked on it, swirling his tongue around the digit. 

If he truly was as drunk as I thought he was, then he wouldn’t be able to stand up much longer — and if he kept sucking on my finger like this, neither would I. Unconcerned by his inebriation, Jamie moved forward and I felt my back press up against the stable door. 

“Ye look so bonny, _mo cridhe_ , wi’ yer cheeks red as roses,” Jamie smiled before leaning down to kiss me. I pressed my hips urgently against him, and met his desperate need to touch. My body shivered once again as Jamie slid his hand down the front of my pants, cupping me with the warmth of him. “So wet, Sassenach.” 

I was panting now, trying to stand on my own two feet, “I always am… for you.” Jamie’s mouth was on my neck then, while his other hand pushed aside my mass of curls so he could easily suck on the skin, feeling my pulse beneath his tongue. My body convulsed as he pushed aside my panties and pressed his finger against my slit. It wasn’t enough just to have his fingers touching me, I needed more. 

“Jamie,” I moaned, pressing my head back against the door. “Jamie, I need you inside me.” 

His mouth came off my neck with a _‘pop’,_ laughing to himself at the sound and then his eyes grew dark and my hips bucked involuntarily at his gaze. Jamie pulled his hand out of my jeans and panties, only to tug them hurriedly down my legs. I stepped out of them and it was then and there that I said a prayer that he had decided to wear his kilt for the holiday. 

“I must have ye now, or die,” he whispered and then crushed his mouth against mine. I felt a flurry of material as it brushed across my thighs and then landed at my feet and then gasped as he pushed his cock inside of me, pinning me to the door. 

“Oh God!” I cried out as he lifted one leg off the ground and rolled his hips against mine. Jamie was relentless, and with every thrust, I felt my backside hit the door behind me but I felt no pain, only relief. 

One of his large, calloused hands was on my breasts, squeezing and tugging at my nipple over my shirt. Then he slid that hand to my neck and pressed it to look down at our joining, “Look, mo nighean.” He panted and leaned his forehead against mine as he stared down, his cock sliding in and out of me, “Watch while I take ye.” 

At his words, I began to shake, trembling with the power he was exerting. My back arched and it took all my effort to keep my head down and watch as he pushed forward. As his own body began to tremble, he pressed his face into the crook of my neck, snaking his tongue out to taste the faint salty perspiration that had gathered there.

“Christ,” he sighed a moment later, his hand cupping my cheek, our bodies still joined. “I’ll surely die from lovin’ ye so.” 

It was my turn to laugh and I placed my hand at the nape of his neck, “Don’t die on me now, Jamie. There are so many things I want to do to you.” It was possible that I, too, was also quite drunk. 

Jamie reluctantly pulled out of me, bent to gather his plaid and walked us over to an empty stable, lightly covered with hay. He put out his plaid, and together we laid on it, arms wrapped tightly around the other. It could have been hours that we simply lay there, listening to the gentle snores and snuffs of the horses nearby. 

I turned on my side and set my chin on top of Jamie’s broad chest. “Did you plan on bringing me here all along? Having your way with me in the stables amongst the wild animals?”

Jamie smiled, chuckling lightly, “Aye, I did. I had somethin’ else in mind, but when ye looked like that…” he moaned, “I had to have ye.” 

“Well what did you have in mind if it wasn’t… that.” I blushed and bit my lip. 

Jamie’s hand tapped my back and I sat up, only now aware that I was naked from the waist down, but there was no point in covering up now. He rolled to the side and grabbed something beside a small barrel that was sitting in the corner of the stable. 

My breath caught in my throat when he turned back and I saw that he was holding a small box. “Claire,” he smiled as he came to kneel in front of me. I thought it quite hilarious that as I looked down at the small box, I also had a clear view of his cock between his thighs, but brushed that though aside and focused on him. 

“I ken it’s maybe too soon, but marrying ye has been the only thing on my mind since the first day I met ye, mo cridhe.” Jamie opened the box, revealing a silver band that looked like it’d been fashioned from a key. “It was my mother’s, ye ken. My father made it for her when they we’re dating.” 

“ _Sorcha_ ,” Jamie looked at me, “I canna imagine livin’ a day without ye. I canna breathe when I’m no wi’ ye and I want to protect and love ye for the rest of our days.” He took the ring out of the small box, setting that on the ground and took my left hand in his, ring poised near my finger. 

“Will you marry me, Claire?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Bear This Pain

**_March 2016_ **

Planning a wedding with Jamie Fraser proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I had wrongfully assumed that he wouldn’t care about the small details, but he had an opinion on everything. And _God_ \- did he let me know. 

“I dinna like the taste of that,” He stuck his tongue out after the fifth cake we had tasted. 

“What’s wrong with this one?” I asked, cheerfully taking another bite. 

Rubbing a napkin over his lips, he looked down at the chocolate fudge cake in front of him, eyes narrowed as if it was out to get him. “Too much chocolate, Sassenach. I say we go wi’ the carrot cake.” 

“I love carrot cake, Jamie, but I don’t think everyone loves it. It’s not exactly the most popular of choices.” 

“Tis our weddin’,” Jamie crossed his arms, looking like an impatient child. 

I set my fork down, and looked over at him, “Why is this so important to you?”

“Is it no important to ye, _mo nighean_?”

I slid my hand across the table to grab his hand, and he reluctantly took it. “Of course it is, Jamie. I guess I’ve just never seen you this passionate about cake is all,” I laughed. 

“I’m verra passionate about desserts, Sassenach.” Jamie leaned forward, licking his lips, “Especially when some of it is on the corner of yer mouth.” He pressed his lips against mine firmly, then flicked his tongue across my lips, collecting any remaining frosting. 

Blushing, I wiped my mouth with my napkin, and Jamie laughed. “Pick whatever cake ye want… so long as it’s no the chocolate.” 

“Fine,” I smiled. “How about the vanilla lavender with buttercream frosting?” 

“Aye, that one was bonny.” 

“Thank God,” I let out a deep breath. “That’s one thing crossed off our list. You know, if we’re going to be getting married in three months, then we better hurry up!” 

“Well how much more can there be to do?” Jamie looked at me seriously. 

“Jamie, my dear.” I shook my head, “There is _so_ much to be done.” 

“I’m no in the mood to be doin’ anymore of it today, Sassenach. I’m happy to come along wi’ ye and help pick out stuff, but one decision a day please!” He held up both hands, exasperated at trying so many cake flavors. 

“We don’t have any other appointment scheduled until next week anyway,” I laughed and stood up, and headed off to tell the baker our decision. 

I joined Jamie outside, wrapping my arms around his waist and stood on my toes to give him a kiss. “We’re going to Jenny and Ian’s right? To see the baby for a bit?”

“Aye,” He twisted a curl around his finger, “Wee Maggie has been a handful she tells me.” 

“Fraser blood,” I smirked and smacked his bum before climbing into the car. 

++++++

I held Maggie in my arms, rocking her slowly back and forth. She had the cutest pink cheeks, chubby as most babies are, and the smallest little fingers. I couldn’t stop looking at her, even when Jenny would ask me a question about the wedding — I kept my eyes locked down on Maggie. 

“If ye’ve got her for a bit, I’m just goin’ to take a bath,” Jenny said, rising from the bed. “Havena had a proper soak in what feels like forever.” 

“Aye, we’ll watch her,” Jamie smiled and came to join me on Jenny’s bed. He slid his arm around my shoulder and I leaned my head against him. 

“Do you want children, Jamie?”

He touched Maggie’s small hand with his finger and she latched onto it, taking the tip of it into her mouth. “Oh aye, Sassenach. I’d love to fill our house wi’ bairns… Hand down the good Fraser name.” He smiled at me but his eyes were a million miles away - picturing what our future might look like one day. 

“Jamie…” I looked at him and then quickly back down at Maggie. “I may never be able to give you a daughter as beautiful as wee Maggie. I don’t know if I can have children,” I said softly. 

Sooner or later I knew this topic would come up, and I should have mentioned it before we got engaged, but everything with Jamie happened very quickly. 

He was silent, his hand squeezing tight on my shoulder, urging me to continue. “When I was engaged to Frank, we discussed having children. My mother had two miscarriages before I was born, Jamie.” 

“ _Mo ghraidh_ ,” Jamie placed a kiss on the top of my head. 

“And so we went to the doctor to check if everything was alright. That’s when I found out that I have less eggs than a woman should at my age.” I felt a tear slid down my cheek and rushed to wipe it. “Christ, I’m only 25. I should have told you, Jamie.”

His grip tightened around me and I leaned into his chest, tears silent falling down my face. Little Maggie barely stirred, her chest rising slowly. Jamie pushed my curls back behind my ear and tilted my chin up to look at him. “Perhaps it’s for the best, Sassenach.” 

“What?”

“It’s just, so many things can go wrong with a pregnancy, even with today’s modern medicine. I wouldn’t want anythin’ to happen to ye or for ye to suffer.” 

“I wouldn’t mind the pain,” I cried. 

He kissed my forehead, “I would. I can bear pain myself, but I couldna bear yers. It would take more strength than I have.” 

Jamie let me cry as much or as little as I needed to as we both watch Maggie sleep peacefully. 

With Frank, when I had learned that it would be hard for me to become pregnant, I wasn’t exactly disappointed. As our relationship progressed, there were traits I saw in him that I didn’t like and so I was secretly glad I might not be able to pass those along to my future children. That should have been a warning sign for me to leave him, but it took me being cheated on to come to my senses. 

Now being with Jamie, all I wanted was to be able to give him children — as many as he wanted. The thought of small red haired children running around our house one day made me smile and I prayed that it would be possible for us. 

“Jamie,” I said after awhile and he looked over at me. “Promise me we won’t give up? Trying to have children?”

He smiled, and leaned in to kiss me, “Aye, we’ll try, Sassenach. I would verra much like to try.” 

 

**_Present Day - November 2018_ **

_“FUCK!!!”_

My eyes were shut tight, and I was seeing spots, but the light was too bright in the bloody hospital room. I could hear Jamie scooping more ice chips into a cup, and I wanted to hurl it at his face. 

“Just a few more minutes, Claire, then we’ll be ready to push out baby number one,” my doctor said and I nodded quickly, taking deep breaths. 

“Sassenach, ye can do this.” Jamie kissed my sweaty forehead, grabbing one of my hands to let me squeeze. 

“You’ll bloody fucking pay for this, Jamie!” I let out a scream as another contraction came. 

“Christ,” Jamie muttered and I looked at his hand, which was turning white. He only gripped my hand tighter. 

“Who do you think will be first, Malcolm or Lilidh?” He smiled and wiped my forehead with a cloth. 

“I’d like it to be Lilidh,” I panted. “So that she can be the older one. Have something to hold over her brother’s head.” 

Jamie laughed, holding up a ice chip to my lips. I sucked on the chunk of ice, and leaned my head back against the pillow. 

“Of course, if Malcolm is first he’ll always let her know. Stubborn Fraser men,” I started to laugh and then grunted as another contraction came. 

“Okay, Claire…” my doctor looked at me, her hands on my ankles. “It’s time to push.” 

I looked from her to Jamie, and he looked quite frightened. I suddenly wondered who this would be harder for, him or me? 

Fuck. _Me._

Women who tell you that pregnancy is a beautiful thing forget to mention the incredible pain you feel when you’re pushing something that feels like a watermelon out of a very small hole. 

Bracing myself, I shut my eyes, gripping Jamie’s hand as tightly as I possibly could and pushed when the doctor told me to. 

“That’s it, Claire. Come on, I can see the head.” 

_Deep breath. Push. Scream. Push._

A cry. 

“Christ, she’s bonny,” Jamie said and my eyes sprang open to look at my daughter. She was beautiful, no matter if she was covered in amniotic fluid and blood — she was perfect. 

“Lilidh,” I sighed, my body relaxing momentarily. 

“Would you like to cut the first cord, Dad?” The doctor said, handing him a pair of scissors. 

Jamie looked down at me, his eyes wide as he took them. Once the cord was cut, he picked her up, tears filling his eyes and brought her to me. I pulled back the front of my hospital gown and Jamie laid her against my chest. Lilidh cried, her little eyes shut to the new world she had just arrived in. 

“Our lass,” Jamie cried, stroking her back. A couple of minutes later, I felt another contraction coming, and so Jamie helped give Lilidh over to the nurse to be cleaned and swaddled. 

“Ready for another one?” Jamie smiled, kissing me quickly. 

I nodded and prepared myself to go through it all over again. 

At last, after several more contractions and what felt like an hour of pushing, Malcolm Fraser came into the world. We repeated the same steps we did with Lilidh — cutting the umbilical cord, and placing him on my chest, breathing together. 

“Just as ye said, Sassenach,” Jamie laughed. “Lilidh is older by twenty-three minutes.” 

“As she should be,” I chuckled, then stared down at our beautiful boy. I could tell already that both our children were red headed - purely from Fraser blood, no doubt about it. That thought made me smile, knowing that Jamie was so clearly the father and that our traits were mixed into them. 

Another nurse came and took Malcolm to be cleaned and I let my head fall back against the pillow, drenched in sweat. Jamie rested his head into the crook of my neck, and I felt his body shaking. Slowly, I lifted one hand to the back of his neck. 

“Christ, I’m so glad ye all made it.” He sniffed, “Ye were so brave, Claire.” Jamie pulled back, placing a kiss on my lips, “So brave and strong.” 

“You bloody bet I was,” I laughed. 

Jamie pressed his forehead to mine. “They’re cleanin’ the bairns, do ye want me to go and check on them? Ye can rest for a bit and I’ll come back wi’ them both.” 

I nodded and smiled lazily, already feeling myself drifting off to sleep, my body fatigued. 

Some time later - I have no idea how long - I felt someone nudging my side, and opened my eyes to see Jamie, holding both our babies in his strong arms. “Slide over a bit?”

I moved over in the bed so that he could come and lay beside me. He handed me Malcolm and I cradled him to my chest as he laid down gently next to me, holding Lilidh. 

“She’s already got you wrapped around her little finger,” I smiled. 

“Aye, I’ll do whatever she asks. Bonny lass,” he said softly, running his finger over her pink cheek. “And we’ve got our brave lad, too.” 

I ran my hand over the top of Malcolm’s head, lightly covered with red fuzz. Newborn babies really did smell good. “He’ll grow up strong and kind…” I looked over at Jamie, “Just like his father.” 

“I love you, _mo nighean donn_ ,” Jamie said softly, his voice cracking slightly, his eyes brimming with fresh tears. 

“And I love you, Jamie Fraser.” He closed the space between us and kissed me. We stayed close together, our heads touching on the pillow and watched both of our babies sleeping in our arms. 

Before we were married, I wasn’t sure I would be able to have children. Now I held the two most perfect creatures in my arms, and my husband was right beside me through it all. 


	9. Spontaneity

**_June 2016_ **

Sometimes things don’t go as you expect them to. Like most of our wedding vendors cancelling nearly last minute, giving us no explanation, but telling us we would get our money back. Jamie and I were supposed to be getting married in two weeks, on June twenty-ninth, but now, the wedding looked like it wouldn’t be happening.

We had come to visit Jamie’s family at Lallybroch, and make final arrangements for the wedding because we would be having it here. Ever since yesterday morning when I received three calls all in the same day, cancelling our cake, flowers and band, I had been distant from Jamie and the occupants of Lallybroch. 

“Sassenach?” I heard Jamie enter the room.

“Hmmm,” I hummed, sitting in a chair by the fire in our room. Jamie came to stand in front of me and I could feel the uneasiness flow from him. When I didn’t look up, he crouched down on his knees, sliding his palm over my leg. 

“Do ye still want to get marrit, Claire?” 

That made me look at him, his blue eyes watery, fear etched on his features. Silently, I leaned forward, sliding my hands on his shoulders and pulled him to me, holding him to my chest. 

“Yes.” I nodded, feeling the overwhelming sense of failure crash over me. I just wanted our wedding to be perfect. “That’s the only thing I want, Jamie.” 

Jamie placed a soft kiss to the base of my neck, then pulled back to look at me, his hands gripping mine. “I ken ye wanted a weddin’ wi’ all the normal stuff a weddin’ is supposed to have.” 

“Like cake, flowers, a band, and maybe some guests!” I laughed. Over the last month, we had received RSVP’s from our guests and half had said they couldn’t attend. If I believed in superstitions, then I would take this as a sign to not get married to Jamie. 

“That would be nice, aye,” Jamie chuckled. “But at the end of the day, Sassenach, ’tis you and me that will be gettin’ married. It’s a promise we make to one another, a vow.” 

“I know that,” I pressed my fingers lightly to his cheek. “That’s why I wanted everything to be perfect. For us.” 

Jamie bent his head, his eyes lingering on his hand on my leg. “What if we got married tomorrow? Here at Lallybroch?”

“Without any of our guests?” I asked, and my mind started trying to come up with a list of reasons why we shouldn’t get married tomorrow, but I came up short. 

“Aye, just you and me. My family. Our family. What more do we need, Sassenach?”

I sat back in the chair and my head turned towards the wardrobe. I thanked God and Jenny Murray that I had decided to keep my dress here at Lallybroch, because Jamie would be less likely to take a peek than if it was at our home. 

“Let’s do it,” I smiled. “Let’s get bloody married tomorrow!” 

Jamie grinned, and then pressed his lips against mine, his body pinning me to the chair. I felt his hands slide around me and soon I was being held in his arms bridal style. “What are you doing?” I laughed. 

“I’m carrying my soon to be bride downstairs,” he laughed and started walking towards the door. “We’ll tell our family the great news that there’s to be a weddin’ tomorrow and then we’ll call the priest!” 

++++++

I went to sleep that night in a different bed than Jamie, but when I woke up, he was there. He was laying next to me, hand propping up his head, a smirk on his face. “Morning, Sassenach.”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” I grumbled, wiping my hands over my sleepy eyes. 

“Aye, but I couldna wait to see ye,” he smiled and leaned in to kiss me. 

I wrapped my leg around his waist and he rolled on top of me, bracing himself on his arms. “The honeymoon isna supposed to start until tonight, Sassenach.” Jamie laughed, then kissed me slowly, his tongue sliding across my lips. 

“Nothing has gone the way we wanted it to,” I moved one hand to the front of his boxers and he moaned. “If I want to start the honeymoon now…” I bit his lip, “We’ll bloody start it now, Fraser.” 

“Oooo a wee vixen,” Jamie laughed and his body pressed down on mine. 

++++++

I stood in the kitchen, nervously smacking my lips that I had just coated with a light pink lipstick. I felt slightly overdressed now that we would be having the wedding in Jamie’s family living room, but I knew this was the right decision. 

Jenny came through the door, wearing her bridesmaids dress and I felt better. I was thankful that I hadn’t gone all out on the dress. It was very simple, a cream colored linen gown with a thin band around the middle and quarter length sleeves. 

“Are ye ready, Claire?” She smiled, handing me a small bouquet of wildflowers she had just picked this morning. 

“Yes. More than,” I hugged her, holding her tightly. I wouldn’t only be marrying Jamie, but I would have a new family, and after spending so many years missing that part of myself, I finally felt like I was coming home. 

“We better get out there, or I think Jamie will come and fetch ye himself! Rather impatient that one,” Jenny rolled her eyes. 

“I’m ready,” I nodded and she walked through the kitchen door. I followed down a short hallway that led to the living room. 

There they stood. Brian and Ian, standing next to Jamie near the unlit fireplace, and Ellen, holding baby Maggie and standing next to a restless young Jamie. When Jamie and I first started dating, the prospect of dating the owner of the hospital’s son felt like a much bigger deal than it really was. I had grown close with Jamie’s parents and felt safe and comforted by their presence. 

Every girl that dreams of her wedding, imagines that her father would be the one to walk her down the aisle, so when Brian stepped forward and offered his arm out to me to lead me the rest of the way to Jamie, I nearly burst into tears. 

“Ye look beautiful, Claire.” Brian kissed me on the cheek and then passed me over into Jamie’s hands. I gripped them tight, not wanting to ever let go. 

“ _Mo ghraidh_ ,” he smiled. “Ye are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.” 

“I sure hope so!” I said, making everyone, including the old priest laugh. “You’re not too bad yourself,” I whistled and looked him up and down, dressed in kilt and jacket, he was dashing. 

“Shall we begin?” The priest said and we turned our attention to him. 

Jamie and I repeated after Father Bain, vowing to love one another in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer and til death us do part. 

Young Jamie came forward with the rings, beaming as he did so, proud of his one task. My fingers shook as Jamie slid my ring over my finger and then he squeezed it tight before I slid his ring on his hand. 

The next bit of the ceremony, I was feeling quite nervous about. I thought it a bit pagan when all was said and done, but Jamie really only cared that this part of his culture be included today. 

Brian came to stand before us, pulling out a small sgina dubh from his sporran and a piece of white cotton fabric. I held out my arm next to Jamie’s, wincing slightly as the blade slid quickly across my wrist. 

“Are ye alright, Sassenach?” Jamie asked, folding his arm over mine, pressing our wrists together. 

I nodded, trying to concentrate on anything other than the faint smell of blood. You would think I would be used to blood because I work in a hospital, but when it’s my own blood, I tend to get a little queasy at the sight. 

Brian tied the white fabric around and around our wrists, and then went to stand by Ellen, his arm around her waist, no doubt remembering their own wedding day. 

“Repeat after me,” Jamie smiled and began to speak in Gaelic. I repeated the best I could, stumbling over a few of the pronunciations. Jamie said this was an old Gaelic blood vow, something his parents did and his grandparents before them. 

_“Ye are Blood of my Blood and Bone of my Bone. I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One. I give ye my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done.”_

“Ye may kiss yer bride,” Father Bain said cheerfully. With our wrists still tied together, Jamie leaned in, his other hand cupping my cheek and kissed me deeply. Claps and shouts of celebration went around the room and I melted against Jamie. It was so simple - no fuss - nothing but us and the people we loved most in the world around us. 

I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it from Geillis, so I would have to make it up to her by letting her take me out for a post wedding bachelorette party. Jamie untied our wrists, placing his lips gently against the wound before covering it with a fresh bandage. 

“I love ye, Sassenach, so much I think my heart will burst!” Jamie smiled, kissing me again. 

“I love you, Jamie. God I love you,” I pressed my forehead against his and we stood there for a time, simply holding each other. Our family went in the kitchen, I knew to pull out the food for celebration, but Jamie and I held each other in the middle of his living room. 

“We’re mated for life, ye and I.” 

Pulling back, I ran my thumb over his lips, “Aye, like penguins,” I laughed. 

“My bonny penguin,” Jamie kissed me. “Are ye hungry?”

I slid my hand over my stomach, “Starving!” 

“Let’s feed ye then, Mrs. Fraser.” Jamie slid his hand around my waist, and led us into the kitchen where we were greeted with more cheers and a chant for us to kiss. Christ… I love my family.

 

**_Present Day - December 2018_ **

We all took care of the twins in shifts. I knew the first few months would be the hardest, adjusting to life with a newborn, let alone two newborns wasn’t an easy task. Thankfully, Jenny and Jamie’s mother helped as much as they could. It’d only been three weeks since Malcolm and Lilidh had come into the world and already it was a better place because of them. 

When I wasn’t falling asleep on the couch after breastfeeding, I was changing a diaper or trying to eat something that resembled food. I was on maternity leave from the hospital, but Jamie was only able to get one month off, even being the head of the hospital, he had a lot of responsibilities that couldn’t just be pushed aside. That meant that in a week’s time, it would be me and the twins on our own. 

Ellen promised to stop by at least once a day, which I was extremely grateful for, but I knew it wouldn’t and couldn’t be like this for all the twins lives. At some point, it would just be me, them and Jamie. 

It was one of those rare quiet moments, when the twins had fallen asleep at the same time. They were in their nursery, breathing deeply, small smiles on their faces and I had crept away to find peace in the kitchen. I had just reached for a container of cookie dough when Jamie walked through the front door, back from the store with food and a butt ton of diapers. 

“Hello, love.” Jamie smiled, dropping the bags near the entrance of the house. He kissed me on the cheek, wrapping one arm around my waist and then looked down at my hands. “Ye ken yer no supposed to eat raw cookie dough, Sassenach…” 

“Everyone does it Jamie, besides,” I opened the lid and swiped my finger through the mixture, “It’s delicious.” I held my finger in front of his mouth and could almost see his tongue salivate. 

His eyes squinted, mouth smirking, but he opened his lips and took my finger, cookie dough and all, into his mouth. 

“Aye, yer right.” He smacked his lips, and reached his own finger in for another glob of the stuff. “Carry on, _mo nighean_.” 

Laughing, I closed the fridge door and took a seat on one of the bar stools. “Did you enjoy your adventure out there in the real world?”

Jamie grabbed the bags from the store and started to unload them one by one. “Och, of course I did. The lights,” he sighed, “the people, the smells! Christ, Sassenach, a whole world out there that isna all bairns and shite.” 

I covered my mouth to stop from laughing loudly, and looked down the hallway where I knew the twins would be sleeping soundly. 

“But they’re so cute!” I half whispered, and took another bite of the cookie dough. I made sort of an orgasmic sound at the taste, feeling both of Jamie’s eyes boring into mine. “What?” I mumbled. 

“Ye dinna make sounds like that, Sassenach.” He said, placing both hands on the counter. “Not when ye’ve got yer wee finger in yer mouth and there’s no one but us and sleepin’ bairns in the house.” 

“What sounds? I don’t make sounds,” I lied, quirking one eyebrow. Jamie walked around the counter slowly, his eyes still on me. He came to stand before me, his gaze traveling from my lips back to the container of cookie dough. 

“Aye, ye do make sounds, Sassenach. Lots of wee noises,” Jamie smirked, scooping a bit of cookie dough onto his finger and brought it too my lips. “Suck, _mo nighean_.” 

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” I muttered, committing my soul to God and opened my mouth, taking Jamie’s long finger with the dough on my tongue. The sweet, chocolatey flavor of the cookie dough, mixed with the saltiness of Jamie’s skin was the perfect combination. I closed my eyes, swirling my tongue around his finger, and moaned softly. 

“There’s one I havena heard in awhile,” Jamie laughed, his other hand sliding across my knee, traveling slowly up my thigh. Just as I opened my eyes and leaned up to kiss him, I heard the familiar cry of Malcolm and let out a large groan. 

“Your son has the worst timing,” I laughed and stood to Jamie’s objections. 

“Och, so now he’s only my son when he interrupts the proceedings of tryin’ to bed ye?” Jamie laughed, following me down the hallway to the nursery. 

“You’ve got that right, Fraser.” We came into the nursery, and Jamie went to Malcolm who was crying, kicking his little legs out — poor lad. 

“Shhh, _mo chuisle_ , it’s yer Da.” Jamie hushed him, cradling him to his chest. I looked over at Lilidh and she was still fast asleep, her thumb in her mouth — taking after her mama. Walking around the small crib, I came to stand behind Jamie, sliding my hand around his waist, resting my head on his back. He started to sway gently, rocking Malcolm and whispering sweet things in Gaelic that I didn’t understand. 

“Yer mam and I love ye verra much, lad. Dinna forget it,” Jamie spoke softly in English and finally after awhile, Malcolm stopped crying. “And we love yer wee sister too, don’t we _mo cridhe_?”

“And we always will,” I smiled and pressed my lips against Jamie’s back, swaying with him as we rocked our son back to sleep. 


	10. Gifts

**_Present Day - Christmas Eve 2018_ **

_“Silent night, holy night, All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin, mother and child, Holy infant so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace…”_

Lilidh had woken up an hour ago. Not wanting Malcolm to wake up from her cries, I scooped her up to spend some time with her. I didn’t mind the late night though because it was Christmas Eve and things were a bit magical. 

Somehow we had managed a few decorations around the house and even a tree, but that was all in thanks to Geillis who had found it, set it up with Jamie and decorated it while I watched and then fell asleep in the process. 

I was thankful for her insistence on a tree for the babies first Christmas, even though I was in no mood to celebrate with the normal cheer I usually felt towards the holiday. The lights on the tree sparkled and shined and I found myself dozing off while watching the way the light moved across the room. 

A gentle nudge on my foot stirred me from my Christmas slumber and I woke to find Jamie peering down at me and Lilidh.

“Do ye want me to take her back to her room now, Sassenach?” 

I looked down at her sleeping face, a small smile spread across her little pink lips. “Not just yet, come sit with us,” I gave a soft pat to the spot next to me and he came close, wrapping his arm around the both of us. 

“The bairns first Christmas,” he sighed and stroked Lilidh’s soft cheek with the pad of his thumb. 

“I wish my parents could be here to meet them,” I said softly and laid my head on Jamie’s shoulder. 

He pulled me closer to him and I carefully shifted so that Lilidh rested on both our laps. “I wish that too, for ye and for them.” Kissing the top of my head Jamie then moved his hand in a slow pattern on my waist. 

“I’m just glad they have grandparents at all,” I smiled up at him. “I’m very thankful for your parents Jamie, they’ve been so incredible.” 

“Aye, they’re pretty great, I ken that,” Jamie grinned. “Probably better parents than I deserve.” 

“Oh, don’t say that! Of course you deserve them,” I laughed quietly and nudged him in the side with my elbow. 

“Och, Sassenach.” Jamie rubbed at his side, “I just mean that I was a bit of a trouble maker as a lad and they probably wished they didna have me half the time.” 

“Well what kid isn’t a little bit of a pain in the arse to their parents?” I laughed, “I’m sure these two will give us hell as they get older.” 

“No’ Lilidh though,” Jamie stroked the soft tufts of red hair on the top of her head. “She’s an angel.” 

“Just your son then, you expect him to be a stubborn Fraser through and through?” 

“I do recall a few times when ye were just as stubborn, it not more than me, Sassenach,” Jamie arched his brow and then kissed the tip of my nose. 

“Fine,” I nodded. “Then they’ll both be stubborn and we have a lot to look forward to.” 

Jamie continued to move his fingers softly against my hip and I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder. The fireplace was warm, but Jamie was warmer and I was comfortable, nestled under his arm. The house was quiet, only the crackle of the fire and the soft snores of Lilidh and then Jamie started to sing. 

_“Silent night, holy night, Shepherds quake at the sight_

_Glories streams from heaven afar, Heavenly hosts sing, alleluia_

_Christ the savior is born, Christ the savior is born”_

“That was beautiful, Jamie.” 

“I canna carry a tune to save my life, but perhaps it’s the Christmas spirit that made me sing,” he chuckled and then moved, gathering Lilidh in his arms. “I’m goin’ to put her to sleep. Wait here, Sassenach, I want to give ye a wee somethin’.” 

“Alright, love.” I smiled and watched as he carried our daughter back down the hallway and to her room. I pulled the plaid up around my body and leaned against the couch, waiting for him to return. 

Jamie returned to the living room with a rather large wrapped square shaped something. “It’s not Christmas though!” 

“Och, tis indeed, Sassenach, look.” 

He looked over at the clock on the wall and fair enough, it read just past midnight on Christmas Day.

“But surely this can wait until morning with your family,” I blushed as he sat down the gift in front of me on the coffee table. 

“I wanted to give this to ye when it was just us, _mo nighean donn_. Go ahead,” he grinned nervously and sat down beside me. “Open it.”  

Giving him a wary glance, I moved to the edge of the couch and reached for the edge of the wrapping paper. I had no earthly idea what it could be and hadn’t asked for anything considering all my attention had been towards Malcolm and Lilidh. 

Jamie was tapping his fingers against his thigh and I teasingly took my sweet time pulling back the wrapping paper until he reached forward and pulled back a large piece. Laughing, I obliged him and pulled the rest off to reveal a beautiful dark wooden box, with latches all over. 

“What is it?” I asked cheerfully and Jamie just rolled his eyes and motioned towards the box. 

I opened the largest latch on the top and pulled the top open. “A medicine box?”

“Aye, it’s an antique medicine box from the 18th century, Sassenach. I found it online, comes with a certificate and everything,” Jamie said proudly. 

Exploring the box, I opened it up to reveal small empty vials and brass instruments. It was beautiful. 

“I ken ye may no’ have much use for most, if any of the tools considering they’re quite old, but I thought ye might like it to look at and have in yer office.”

I ran my hands over the wood of the box, noticing how it had been put to good use and turned to Jamie, “I love it so much. It’s stunning, Jamie, thank you.” Leaning in, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly. 

“It’s truly one of a kind, just like you James Fraser,” I smiled against his lips. 

“I’m glad ye are pleased, _mo ghraidh_ , truly.” 

“How could I not be when my thoughtful husband gives me such a wonderful gift? You’ve always been good at gifts…” I grinned, remembering over the years the many things Jamie had given me.

“That’s because I like to spoil ye, Sassenach,” Jamie kissed me and pulled me onto his lap. 

“Merry Christmas, Claire,” he smiled

“Merry Christmas, Jamie,” I smiled and nuzzled my forehead against his. 

 

**_June 2016_ **

For our honeymoon, we had decided to go to Paris for two weeks, soaking up the sun and filling our bellies with croissants. I had never been, but Jamie had spent a few summers here with his Uncle Jared, helping him with his wine business. 

He showed me around the places he used to visit in the day. And at night, we would relax by the Seine, drinking wine and eating as much cheese as was humanly possible. 

We spent time exploring little villages near Paris, and we both managed to keep up conversations with the locals in French — Jamie had summers here to thank for that and I had my Uncle Lamb. 

Our time here was ending and I was dreading going back to work, only because I thoroughly enjoyed waking up next to Jamie and not moving for several hours while we watched the sun shift positions in the room. 

It was our last night in Paris and we had just spent the last hour packing and making sure everything was set for our flight in the morning. I had stuffed my bag to the brim, thankful that I had packed light, knowing that I would inevitably peruse the Parisian boutiques. 

I was laying in bed with my ankles crossed, the door to the balcony open to let in a breeze and sipping a glass of wine when Jamie came to sit next to me. He had a small brown bag in his hands and was looking down at it, saying nothing. 

“What do you have there, Monsieur Frésilière?” I smiled and he held up the small bag. 

“Open yer hand, Sassenach. I’ve a wee gift for ye,” grinning like a little boy on Christmas, Jamie opened the contents of the small bag into my open hand. 

A string of pearls cascaded onto my hand and I quickly sat my glass down on the table by the bed. I touched each pearl between my fingers, then looked up at Jamie with tears in my eyes. 

“Why, they’re Scotch pearls!” 

“Aye, they belong to my mother,” he took them from my hands and then placed them around my neck, “And now they belong to my wife.” 

I moved in the bed to sit on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly and deeply. 

"They're verra precious to me — as are ye, Claire.” 

“I love them, Jamie. Thank you,” I smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“One day ye shall have whatever yer heart desires, Sassenach. I promise ye,” he grabbed my thighs and settled them on either side of his lap and I pressed against him, feeling him. _God I really didn’t want to go back to work._

“Jamie, I don’t need much, you know that right? This ring,” I cupped his cheek with my left hand, “And now these pearls… they’re all I need, because I have you.” I leaned into his body, pressing him against the headboard and soon his hands were at the straps of my camisole, pulling them down slowly. 

“I love ye so, Claire.” Kissing me, Jamie pushed my camisole around my waist and we both managed to pull our pants down, giving us enough freedom for what we really wanted… _needed_. I placed one hand on his neck as I sank down on his length, sighing as I did. 

The pearls he had given me hung between my breasts and as I began to slowly move on top of him, Jamie bent his head and placed a kiss on each breast before bringing his lips to mine. 

“I love you every day that I’m on this earth, Jamie,” I said and moaned as he angled me just so. 

“And even after that,” biting my bottom lip, I rolled my hips in time with his thrusts. 

“Oh, Claire,” Jamie pressed his hands on my back and held me to him as our bodies moved together and we soaked up the last moments of our honeymoon. It hadn’t even been a year that we met, and things had moved fast. I knew though that Jamie Fraser was my life now forever and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 


	11. On Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW :) throughout ahem

**_September 2016_ **

Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.

It had been three months since our wedding and nothing about it had gone as expected, but I wouldn’t change it for all the perfect flower arrangements in the world. The spur of the moment wedding in Jamie’s family living room felt more like “us” than the actual wedding we had planned. 

Jamie and I were still in the “ _honeymoon phase_ ” as it was affectionately called. Every morning we kissed hello and when there was plenty of time on hand we ended up making love in the wee hours. I couldn’t get enough of him and when I was away at work like I was now, I found myself glancing at my watching every five minutes, begging time to hurry up. 

I had just sent a text to Jamie asking him what he wanted for dinner when I felt two strong arms wrap around my middle. 

“Mmmm, hello Sassenach.” 

Smiling, I turned my head to kiss his cheek, wrapping my own arms around his. 

“What are you doing here? I just texted you about dinner,” I turned in his arms. 

“My Da asked me to come and meet him for lunch,” he sighed heavily. “I think this is the talk.” 

I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers, “You mean about him retiring? Do you think he’s ready for that?”

He nodded, “Aye, he’s made a few comments recently and also he never asks me to meet him here so it has to be somethin’.” 

“Or he just wants a nice lunch with his son,” I said hopefully, but Jamie squinted his eyes at me. 

“My Da has somethin’ on his mind, I ken that for sure,” Jamie pushed a few loose curls behind my ear. “I should go, _mo nighean_ , but I’ll call ye as soon as the meeting is over and I’ll tell ye over dinner if there’s anything to be told.” 

I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist, “Well alright, Jamie. Whatever it is, I know you’re ready whether you think you are or not.” 

Jamie planted a kiss on the top of my head and then leaned back, “If ye say it, tis true, Sassenach.” 

“Go on now,” I smiled, pushing him away. “Leave me here… all alone,” I pouted and watched as he laughed, headed in the direction of his father’s office. 

++++++

I was home first before Jamie, so I rifled through the cupboards and pulled together my best recipe for spaghetti — noodles from a box and sauce from a jar. Just as I drained the noodles, the door opened and he walked in. 

“Hello, Sassenach,” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Do you want me to wait a moment to ask how everything went?” I bit my bottom lip, anxious to hear the news. 

Jamie walked into the kitchen and kissed me, his arms wrapping around my waist. “Go ahead, I ken ye canna wait.” 

“Well how did it go?” 

“He’s retiring,” Jamie let out a deep breath, one I knew he must have been holding since before his meeting with his father. 

“When? This year? Next year? Oh, so you’ll be my new boss, that’s… interesting. Well, interesting and a bit sexy and do you—“

Jamie pressed his lips against mine to silence my never-ending questions. 

“If ye finish makin’ dinner before I starve to death, then I might answer one of yer wee questions, Sassenach,” Jamie smirked. Once his arms released my waist, I went back to the pasta while my mind raced with a stream of other questions to ask. 

I placed a plate of spaghetti in front of Jamie a few minutes later and took my seat opposite him at the table. 

“When?”

“No this year, thank Christ,” He let out a breath and I waited for him to continue. “He said he hopes to have me fully prepared by the end of next year.” 

“It’s a lot to take on for sure, Jamie, but I know you’ll be able to handle it,” I smiled and twirled my fork around the pasta. 

“Thank ye, _mo nighean_. I’m perfectly happy with my job now managing the day to day operations at the hospital, but I ken my Da doesna want anyone but me taking his place.” 

“It’s is a bit daunting…” I mused. “Owner of a major hospital in Edinburgh.” 

Jamie smirked as he took a bite. “Aye, just a wee bit.” 

“Just think how much more we’ll see of each other once you’ve taken over the position,” I smiled, winking at him. 

“What makes ye think I want to see more of ye, Sassenach?” He attempted a wink of his own but failed miserably. 

Slowly, I pressed my foot against his calf, sliding it up and he flinched in his seat. 

“Well there are on-call rooms,” I licked my bottom lip, tasting salt and continued to move my foot up his leg. 

“Oh, is that so?” Jamie dropped his fork onto the plate and then his hand was wrapped around my ankle. “Do these rooms have locks?” 

I slid down in the chair as Jamie pulled on my ankle, bringing my foot in between his legs. “Yes, they do. Your hospital is _very safe_.” 

“That’s verra good to ken, Sassenach.” His voice was husky and his eyes grew darker as he pressed my foot against his lap. Jamie’s breath hissed as I wiggled my toes on the prominent bulge in his pants and only a few seconds later, he stood up and pulled me to my feet. 

“Christ, Sassenach.” He pressed his lips to mine with an urgency, a deep desire to own me. “I need ye.” Carefully, but with enough force the wind was knocked out of me, Jamie brought us down to the ground right where we stood. 

“Ooo,” I sighed as the cold hardwood pressed against my back. 

“How does it make ye feel?” Jamie slid his hand along my calf and up my thigh, settling then on the waistband of my jeans. 

“What?” I kissed him, swiping my tongue across his bottom lip. 

“The idea of having sex wi’ yer boss, _mo ghraidh_?” In one quick motion, he tugged my jeans and panties down to my knees. 

I arched my back off the ground, pressing against him. My hands were busy unzipping his pants and pulling them off. There was something that felt so primal about making love on the kitchen floor, so desperate to have each other. 

“It’s quite…” I took his cock in my hand and guided it to my center, “Sexy, Mr. Fraser.” 

A deep moan rumbled from his chest as my hand pumped him a few times before he took over and pressed forward. 

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” he half laughed and buried his face in the crook of my neck. 

“Don’t tell anyone though,” I kissed his neck and wrapped my left leg around his waist to urge him to go in deeper, “that I sleep with the boss. We wouldn’t want anyone to think I didn’t earn my position.” 

Jamie leaned up on his arms and slowed his hips, “But ye did earn this position, Sassenach.” 

Jamie slipped out of me and I started to complain, but then he was sitting on his knees and pulling my legs around his waist. I lay flat on my back still with my arse resting on his thighs. 

“Oh God,” moaning, I took one of Jamie’s hands, interlocking our fingers. Slowly — too slowly — his hand settled on my waist and he started to thrust into me. I felt him so deeply, and with every swivel of his hips, I felt his balls press against my arse. I knew his knees must be killing him, but he paid no mind. 

“Jamie,” I sighed and looked at his face — eyes alight with desire and a smile so sweet I could cry. 

“ _Mo nigehan donn_ ,” he whispered and then put his other hand on my hips and began a gentle assault of thrusts that had me shaking. 

 

**_Present Day - February 2019_ **

I was folding laundry in our bedroom — onesie after onesie, when Jamie rushed in the room, a panicked look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I dropped the pale blue onesie onto the bed and immediately started walking to the twins room. 

“Och, Malcolm has a wee cough and is a bit warm,” Jamie informed me as he followed after me. 

It was late and their room was only lit by soft night light in the corner. I heard him cough, a weak little sound erupted from his tiny chest and quickly turned the light on. 

“Oh darling,” I stroked his cheek as Malcolm squirmed a bit in his cot. “It’s probably nothing serious, but I think to be safe we should go to the hospital. Can you call Jenny and see if her or anyone in your family can come and watch Lilidh?”

Jamie’s face was pressed tight with concern and his eyes lingered on Malcolm. “Aye, I can do that.” 

Carefully, so not to jostle him, I reached into his cot and held him against my chest. My body swayed slowly as I walked around the room and put a few of his things into a small bag for the hospital. Lilidh was still fast asleep and I prayed that she wouldn’t get sick as well. 

A moment later, Jamie came back into the room, “Jenny is on her way, should be about fifteen minutes.” 

“Good,” I whispered and rubbed small circles on Malcolm’s back as he let out another cough. 

“Do ye really think he’ll be alright, Sassenach?” Jamie came closer to us, his finger stroking Malcolm’s chubby cheek. 

“If it’s anything serious, it could be whooping cough, but let’s hope it’s not that,” I smiled weakly. 

“Can you take him? I just need to gather a few of our things, we may be there overnight.” 

“Aye, _mo nighean_ , I’ve got him.” Jamie kissed my forehead and then I passed Malcolm into his open arms. 

++++++

Thankfully we’d been admitted into the children’s ward quickly. It was kind of a bonus that I worked at the hospital and just so happened to be married to the owner. Geillis was also working tonight and promised to help with anything if we needed it. 

Jamie and I had been sitting in the waiting room for thirty minutes. Even though we had special privileges at the hospital, we weren’t yet cleared to go back with Malcolm as they performed a few simple tests. Jamie squeezed my hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss. 

“He’ll be fine,” I smiled and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

It wasn’t much longer before Mary Hawkins, Malcolm’s physician and a friend of mine here at work, came out to us. 

“How is he?” I said at once, standing to my feet. Jamie rose beside me, his hands on my shoulders. 

“It’s not the whooping cough, but he has a slight fever,” Mary said. “I think it’s best we keep him here overnight and we’ll keep a close eye on him.” 

“If you think that’s best,” Jamie took a deep breath. “Sassenach, what do ye think?”

I looked up at him, “I trust Mary and well… it’s better to be safe than sorry.” 

“Very well,” Mary smiled. “You’ll just need to change into clean scrubs and then you can come and sit with him.” 

“Thank you Mary,” I gave her hand a squeeze and then turned around to face Jamie. “Once we see him, I’ll call Jenny and let her know what’s going on. Hopefully we should be able to leave by tomorrow."

“Aye, he’s a braw lad. Fraser’s dinna get sick,” he smirked and kissed me. 

++++++

Hours passed and it was late into the night. Jamie and I had been sitting by Malcolm’s small bed ever since we walked into the ward. My fingers never left him — stroking his skin, smoothing his hair. 

I yawned loudly which made Jamie laugh beside me. 

“Ye should get some rest, Sassenach. I’ll stay up, he willna be alone,” he smiled softly. 

“The both of ye should get some rest,” Geillis interrupted and I looked up to see her standing in the door. “Ye both ken where the on-call room is, I’ll watch the lad for a couple of hours.” 

“But you’re working, Geillis. We can’t ask you to sit here all night,” I protested. 

“I dinna say all night,” she grinned. “I said a couple hours while ye two get a bit of food in yer belly and a nap.” 

I glanced over at Malcolm who was resting and then over at Jamie. “He hasn’t fussed in awhile… do you think we could?”

Jamie looked uneasy and I thought he would say no, but he nodded and I felt a sigh of relief. It’s not that I wasn’t willing to sit here all night, but my back was killing me sitting in this chair. 

“Just a couple of hours, no more…” Jamie agreed and we both rose and I kissed Geillis on the cheek as she sat down beside Malcolm. 

On the way to the on-call room, I grabbed a few bottles of water from the lounge room and then joined Jamie who was sitting on the bed. I stood there staring at him, his head leaned back against the wall, eyes shut. Even though I had been yawning moments ago, an old dream I’d had sparked my memory and I turned the lock on the door. 

“Jamie…” I smiled as I took a seat next to him. The beds were not all that comfortable, but when you’d been on your feet for more than 19 hours, it was the best bed you’d ever slept on. 

“Hmmm, Sassenach.” 

“Do you recall a couple years ago when I mentioned an on-call room and how they had locks?” Jamie opened his eyes then and flashed me a wicked smile. 

“Christ, _mo cridhe_ … how could I forget?” His hand slid over my thigh, squeezing it firmly. 

“Would it be very wrong if we… ahem?” I asked him as I moved to straddle his lap, my knees on the bed. 

“Malcolm is asleep, Sassenach. If he needs us, I’m sure someone will come and get us,” he grinned and settled his hands on my hips. “Besides… it’s been nearly four damn months since I’ve lain wi’ ye and I’m burnin’ for ye."

“Was my hand not sufficient?” I smirked and then rolled my hips against his, drawing out a deep groan. 

Jamie took my right hand in his and placed a gentle kiss to my palm, “Aye, Sassenach. But ye ken what I prefer and tis no yer wee hands, no matter how good it felt.” I laughed then as his mouth landed on my neck, licking and nibbling softly. 

“Oh God,” I moaned and leaned back slightly, allowing him more access to my throat. Things progressed rather quickly then — Jamie’s hands in my pants, tugging them over my arse. My hands unzipping his jeans and freeing his hard cock. Jamie’s fingers flicking my sensitive nipples as his tongue swirled with mine. 

I let out a deep sigh of relief and pleasure as I sank down on him and then stilled, simply enjoying the feeling of having my husband inside of me once again. 

“Ah, Sassenach,” Jamie pressed both his hands to my back and then grabbed my hips and started bouncing me on his length. “Yer so tight…” he hissed, “So wet for me, mo nighean.” 

“You’re not the only one who’s been burning,” I sighed and kissed him, pushing my hips against him as hard as I could. 

With the force of each impact, I let out a strangled groan and as Jamie sucked on my neck, I felt the waves of my orgasm wash over me. I held onto the back of his head and our bodies rocked gently together. Carefully, Jamie shifted and laid me back on the bed, still joined. 

“Yer so beautiful, Claire.” 

I blushed and wiggled my hips for more friction, “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

“I need ye,” he sighed and pressed his weight against me. “I need ye so bad, Sassenach. I’ll need ye til the day I die.” This time he was slow and tender, rolling his hips as he eased himself in and out of me. 

++++++

I awoke several hours later to the ringing of my phone and when I answered it, Geillis was on the other end. Malcolm had slept the entire time we’d been gone, but she needed to attend to a few patients. 

Jamie and I got dressed again, kissing each other sloppily as we helped pull our shirts back on. 

When we got back to Malcolm, I nearly weeped at the sight of him. Nothing was wrong, but he had the smallest little smile on his lips. I sat down next to him, once again taking his hand in my fingers and watched as the smile grew. 


	12. Beginnings and Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter (at least for awhile) so thank you everyone who has read and commented!!

**_One Year Later_ **

**_October 2017_ **

I checked my reflection in the mirror, applying one more coat of mascara before I decided my make-up would just have to do for the evening. My dress was a simple black, that hugged every curve and line of my body. Just the way my husband liked, or so he _showed me._

“Sassenach!” He called from the living room, “Are ye ready? We dinna want to be late!”

“Such an impatient man,” I fussed, grabbing my coat from the bed and slipping it on over my shoulders. Jamie was waiting for me, his arms crossed, looking down at his watch. 

“I’m ready. I swear it!” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek as he turned his face to press his lips to mine. 

“Don’t!” I pulled back, “You’ll mess up my lipstick and I don’t think you want to wait around for me to fix it.” 

“I’d love to mess up yer lipstick, Sassenach. And that wee dress of yers too,” the color of his eyes turned into a deep blue, “but yer right, we must go.” He sighed, frowning as he settled for a kiss to my forehead and took my hand, leading me to the door. 

“Are you nervous, Jamie?” I squeezed his hand as we walked to the car parked on the street. 

“Aye, a wee bit.” 

“Your speech will be great, I know it.” He stopped us before we climbed into the car, his hands slid down my body to rest on my hips. 

“’Tis a big responsibility, bein’ an owner of a hospital.” He squeezed my sides making me jump, “With my father retiring and all, I ken it has to be me but I just worry I willna be good at it.” 

Not caring about my lipstick or the stain it would leave on his lips, I pressed forward and closed our mouths together. “Jamie Fraser, you’re the bravest man I know. You’re ready for this, your father has trained you well. The past year has been in preparation for this moment. Besides…” I smirked, my hands sliding down over his arse, “I can’t wait until I can say I sleep with the boss.” 

Jamie laughed and pressed his lips to mine again, “I love ye, Sassenach. Truly, I do.” 

“And I you, Jamie. Now let’s go! It’s bloody freezing out here, and I need those heated seats!” 

He let go of my hips and opened the passenger door for me. The entire drive over, his right hand never left mine - I squeezed it off and on, a matter of habit, to remind him I was there. I was always going to be there, I was always going to be his biggest supporter. 

The tension was seeping out of his body. No normal person would have known that, but I knew James Fraser, and I knew just how big of a night this retirement gala at _Fraser Memorial_ was going to be.

We arrived to the hospital right on time and with only one squinted eyed look from Joe, no one appeared to notice we’d almost been late. The gala was quite impressive. With decorations everywhere, the hospital cafeteria no longer resembled itself. Of course, it still needed to be in some working order, but arrangements had been made for the food to be delivered to those that needed it. 

Jamie squeezed my hand tightly as he led us through the crowd of people, stopping at nearly every table to say hello to someone. There wasn’t a single person here that didn’t know Jamie. Being the son of the owner of the hospital had built up quite a reputation for Jamie, but he had come to visit me so often that at first, people just thought he was my clingy boyfriend. That all changed of course when we were married and Jamie started taking on more responsibility at the hospital in preparation for this day. 

Brian Fraser was retiring from the hospital and leaving it all in Jamie’s capable hands. By no means was Brian too old and unable to work, but he wanted to spend the time he had left with his family. We walked up to the table near the front and he pulled me into a warm hug. 

“Ah, Claire, tis always good to see ye.” 

“You as well, Brian,” I smiled and then said hello to Ellen, Jenny and Ian who had all come for this special night. 

After Brian’s and then Jamie’s speech, there would be dinner served and some dancing before the night came to an end. 

“Did my brother manage to keep his wame under control?” Jenny leaned over to me as I took my seat next to her. 

Jamie was talking with his father, no doubt going over some points in his speech. 

“Yes,” I grimaced. “He was awful close to losing his lunch earlier today, but I gave him some peppermint tea to help calm his nerves.” 

“Och, he’ll do just fine. He’s worrying over nothing,” Jenny smiled. 

“The lad was born for leadership,” Ian agreed. 

He was born for leadership. Jamie was born for a lot of great things. He was kind, brave, strong and extremely compassionate. As I watched him talk with his father, the way his hands moved when he talked, the slight twitch of his lip when he smiled, I was reminded why I had fallen in love so quickly with him. He put me at ease. 

Over the few years we had known each other, we had barely gotten into fights and when we did, it was usually Jamie who was first to come and apologize. I knew that when Jamie was always told he was stubborn, he would disagree with that and say that I was the more stubborn one in our relationship. But no matter the argument or disagreement, Jamie always made sure that we were okay. He was my fierce protector and I was his. 

I grabbed my glass of wine and took a long sip, waiting for the evening to begin. 

“Still trying then?” Ellen noticed my consumption of alcohol and knowing we were trying for a baby, smiled sadly. 

Nodding, I set my glass down. “Yes, I thought I might have been, but it was a false test.” 

She slid her hand over mine and squeezed it, “Dinna fash, Clare. Ye’ll have bairns soon enough.” 

“I sure hope so,” I smiled and then turned my attention to the small stage as Brian stepped up. 

He tapped the mic, making feedback echo around the room, “Hello everyone, thank you for coming tonight. It truly means a lot to me and my family that you’re here.” 

Jamie was off to the side, waiting for his turn and I saw his fingers tapping nervously on his thigh. All throughout Brian’s speech, I kept my eyes on him, begging for him to look at me, to hold my attention so that he wouldn’t be nervous. His eyes were focused on the ground, his notecards clutched tightly in his hands. 

I hardly noticed Brian’s speech was over, but soon I was the only one left sitting and quickly rose to clap as Jamie then took over at the podium. 

“Thank you Da,” Jamie said proudly, motioning towards Brian who took his seat next to Ellen. “Before I say a little something, I just want to thank my father for everythin’ he’s done not only for this hospital, but for me and our family.” 

Ellen slid her arm over Brian’s and I thought I saw a few tears in his eyes. 

“Ye’ve been the foundation for our family, Da. When Willie died, I didna ken how to keep goin’ but it was ye who helped me to find a purpose and for that I thank ye.” Jamie cleared his throat then and turned to the audience. His eyes glanced around the room before finally settling on mine — he smiled and then began. 

He had the audience laughing along with his poor medical jokes and I heard a few sniffs when he told the story of his brother and how the hospital got its name. Then as he told everyone how he hoped to bring something great to this hospital, everyone stood to their feet and cheered him on, all willing to help him achieve that. 

He came to me first, kissing me deeply to my embarrassment as the people around us whooped and hollered. 

After he sat down, then the food was served and eaten quickly along with plenty of wine. 

Thinking that Jamie was standing to go to the loo, I barely noticed his hand as he held it out to me. “Will ye dance wi’ me, Sassenach?”

“Oh,” I smiled and looked up at him before sliding my hand in his, “I’d love to Mr. Fraser.” 

His hands wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me close to him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Slowly our bodies began to sway and I kissed him. “Well done on your speech, love.” 

“I have ye to thank for letting me practice it so much.” 

“Too much,” I laughed. “But you really did a wonderful job, I’m very proud of you.” As I said this I felt tears spring to my eyes for all he had accomplished and would accomplish. 

“Dinna cry, _mo nighean_ ,” Jamie pressed the pad of his thumb just under my eye to stop my tears. 

“Sorry,” I sniffed and wound my hands in his hair at the nape of his neck. “I just love seeing you in your element.” 

“Aye,” Jamie kissed the tip of my nose. “I get the same feelin’ when I see ye workin’ wi’ yer scalpels and wee needles.” 

I slid my hands down his back and settled on his waist, “Here’s to you darling, on your fine achievement of becoming owner and the big time boss of this hospital.” 

“Here’s to us, Sassenach,” Jamie corrected and planted a kiss on my lips. “And for everythin’ that’s ahead for us. Everythin’ that life has to offer, I’m glad I have ye by my side.” 

“I love you.” 

“And I you,” Jamie pulled me to him and we swayed slowly, cherishing the feeling of just being and smiling at the possibilities of the future. 

 

**_May 2019_ **

“Can you believe the twins are six months old already?” I smiled as I took a few more pictures of Malcolm and Lilidh playing with our newest housemate, Adso the kitten. 

“Tis hard to believe, Sassenach. I feel like it was just yesterday that we found out ye were pregnant,” Jamie smiled and then reached for my phone to look through the pictures. Adso was a rescue that Jamie had found on his walk home from work one day. I wouldn’t let the cat in the house without proper vet checks, but once the little kitten was deemed clean, I welcomed him openly into our home.

“Who kens, maybe this time next year, they’ll have another brother or sister to play wi’.” 

I gave Jamie a stern glance, rolling my eyes. “I just started to get my body back and you’re already thinking of another child. We’ve got our hands full enough with these two rascals.” 

Lilidh was gentle with Adso, softly stroking his fur while Malcolm kept pulling on his tail, making him meow rather loudly. 

“It doesna have to be next year then, Sassenach,” Jamie grinned playfully and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him on the couch. “Maybe a year and a half.” 

“In your dreams Fraser,” I hit his stomach. 

“Weel, if we dinna have any more bairns, I’m quite satisfied wi’ these two,” Jamie said proudly as he watched them. Their hair was growing fast now and they both were sprouting nice red curls. 

“Are you?” I looked up at him. 

“Aye,” Jamie brought his hand under my chin, his rough fingers pulling me to look up at him. “I have everythin’ I’ll ever need in this verra room.” 

“A wife, two kids and a kitten,” I smiled. “What more could a man every ask for?”

“Ten more bairns?” 

“That is completely out of the question!” I laughed and swatted at his hand. He laughed beside me and then pulled me closer, his hand sliding down over my hip. Jamie knew just what he was up to — his fingers slowly kneading my side. 

“Stop it,” I said softly and tried to keep my attention on the twins. 

“I’m no doin’ anythin’, Sassenach.” His fingers pressed firmly against my hip before traveling up and under my thin sweater. The pads of his fingers ghosted lightly over my bare skin and I shivered. How was it possible for him to make me feel so aroused in a matter of seconds?

I rolled my eyes and then stood up, pulling him to his feet. The twins were sitting in a playpen, with no chance of escaping and all we needed was a couple of minutes for what I had planned. 

Jamie started to open his mouth in what I assumed was protest, but I yanked on his arm, pulling him to the bedroom. With the door kept partially open to hear any signs of distress, Jamie pinned me to the wall and hiked up my leg around his waist. 

“Christ, Sassenach,” Jamie pressed forward, his mouth on my neck and I slid my hands between us, unzipping his pants. I had his cock in the palm of my hands in a matter of seconds and Jamie was moaning against my skin, his tongue flicking on my pulse point.

“God, I need you,” I panted and then dropped my leg so he could pull my pants down over my hips. Desperate to feel him inside of me, we didn’t bother undressing further and I had to bite down on my lip as he entered me in one quick thrust upwards. 

“Mmmm,” I groaned and Jamie’s hand flew over my mouth to silence me. 

“Be quiet, Sassenach,” Jamie chuckled and then grabbed my leg to wrap around his waist and began to roll his hips upwards. 

I held onto his shoulders and pressed down against him, feeling him inside so deeply. I wanted him, needed him and craved him always and I also knew we needed to make this quick to return to the children. 

“Touch me,” I panted and then kissed him. He gave a slight nod and then his fingers were on my slit, his thumb pressing firmly against my clit. A few more seconds of this, joined by his thrusting and I felt my climax hit me, nearly pulling me to the ground. Jamie was the one this time to cry out and I moved my hand over his mouth and he gently bit down as he came. 

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” I muttered whenever Jamie pulled out of me and began to tuck himself away. 

“I was plannin’ on havin’ my way wi’ ye later on tonight, mo ghraidh but it seems ye couldna wait,” he smirked and then helped me zip up my pants. “Was it all that talk of bairns?”

“Shut it,” I laughed and then leaned up on my tip toes and kissed him, tugging on his collar. 

“Just admit it, Fraser,” he nearly growled. “Ye want to have more bairns wi’ me.” 

I nipped at his nose and then turned to walk out of the room but not before he could pull me back to him, tight against his chest. 

“Fine. Maybe I do,” I said quietly. Of course I did. 

“Then I plan on gettin’ in a lot of practice until we find out if yer wi’ child again,” he smirked and gave my bum a nice little pat. 

“Oh do you?” I grinned and kissed his jaw. 

“Aye, I do.” 

“I’d like to see you try,” I flicked my tongue out against his stubble and then pulled away from his grasp quickly, returning to the twins. He joined me a moment later and I smiled at him — I’d joined the twins in their playpen, holding Adso on my lap now. Jamie grinned and then pulled out his phone, taking a few pictures before joining us. We sat there for hours, playing with our new kitten and laughing whenever the twins both tried to pull on Adso’s tail. 

I loved our family, and I loved the thought of adding more children to our crazy little bunch. As the twins focused on the wee kitten, I met Jamie’s eye above them and smiled and it was like I was transported back to the day I first saw him — hobbling in with the help of Ian because he was too stupid and dislocated his arm. 

Whatever he was, he was mine and I loved him and the life he had given me. 


End file.
